


Planted in Pain, Blooming in Joy

by QueenOfTheMerryMen



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Adoption Stories, F/M, Family, Hood-Mills Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-03-20 19:28:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 27,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13724436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfTheMerryMen/pseuds/QueenOfTheMerryMen
Summary: There was nothing Robin and Regina wanted more than to start a family together. When they find out they can't do it in the way they expected, it takes a lot of work to adjust the picture but once they did they ended with a better family than they could've ever imagined. This is the story of Robin Locksely and Regina Mills and all the moments they shared with their three adopted children.





	1. Their Story

All they wanted was to be parents.

And, oh, how hard they tried.

He still remembers the moment he first saw her. Every little detail. Exactly.

The curl of her hair (flipped out where it reached her chin), the shade of her lipstick (berry plum) and the color of her dress (light blue with a navy blue floral pattern).

It was supposed to be a simple presentation, one he'd done at least a dozen times before but she'd knocked him off his game. The minute he'd looked into her dark chocolate eyes his heart had skipped a beat.

He'd basically made a fool of himself in front of 25 kindergartners, stuttering over stranger danger tips simply because she'd been there.

Luckily, she'd found his fumbling attractive enough to agree to a date. He'd taken her to a local place, nothing special but the food. Still she liked it.

He never expected a schoolteacher to hold her whiskey so well.

Falling in love with her was the easiest thing he'd ever done. He was head over heels in a matter of hours.

In his heart he'd known that she felt the same. But getting her to admit it? Well, he'd never had a harder job in his life. Or a more rewarding one.

Earning her open heart was the most important thing he'd ever done.

One year after stuttering through stranger danger tips he recited his vows to her. And he didn't stammer once.

Those first two years were some of the happiest of his life. He loved her, she loved him. They were happy, stable, together.

Children were the next step. The last thing they needed to complete their happy ending.

They'd both wanted it.

They just… hadn't foreseen the struggle.

It only took a couple months for them to get worried. They tried to keep the faith but once they passed 12 months they knew it was time to see a doctor.

After that it was a blur of hormones and needles and trials and failures. It… it ran them into the ground. He'd married a resilient woman, he knew that, but even her heart had its limits.

They were a cop and a schoolteacher, and their funds buckled under the weight of their dreams.

One round was all they could afford. And when it didn't work… her heart broke.

That fourth year of marriage was the hardest of his life. He'd cried more times than he can count, heard her cry behind closed doors and into pillows.

That open heart he'd worked so hard to gain access to sealed up like a vault. She wouldn't talk, wouldn't listen. Kept him at arms length emotionally… and physically.

He could see the end in sight, could almost feel her literally slipping between his fingers.

She was going to leave him. He knew it… but damn it if he was gonna let her walk out without a fight.

He threw a hail mary.

He confessed.

Everything.

Everything that he'd hoped, everything he'd felt, all the pain he'd hidden away for her sake. He confessed it all in a way she couldn't ignore, not that she didn't try. She hadn't wanted to listen, she tried to run but he didn't let her.

It was a hard, long night… but she came back to him. Little by little she'd opened back up, poured out everything she'd held in.

They'd held each other 'til the sun came up and had a cry over what wasn't meant to be.

Acceptance was difficult but it'd allowed them to move on together.

It took work and effort, from both sides, but they learned how to be happy again. Together.

It took a few months for him to work up the nerve to ask about adoption. Turns out to be a short conversation.

She was completely on board.

They look into all the agencies and avenues but it turns out he finds their first baby all on his own.

He was working the late shift. Got called to the scene of the accident, a car crash. The couple in the front seat had died on impact but all he had eyes for was the toppled car seat in the back.

It was a small baby boy, no more than one year old. The car crash had been brutal and the baby certainly wasn't unscathed, one look was all it took to know that.

In all his years on the job he'd never been more scared.

The EMTs came and carted him off in record time, thank god, but he hadn't been able to get him out his head. After his shift ended he drove straight past home to the hospital without even thinking about it.

There was a bit of internal bleeding, some bruises and cuts but the doctors said he would recover. He'd waited around, hoping to talk with some family or a caregiver but no one showed up except the social worker.

Apparently the mother had been an orphan and the father hadn't been in contact with his family in years. There was no one to get in touch with.

Their baby was alone.

Without his parents all he had left was his name.

_Henry._

Perhaps it was out of line, maybe even unhealthy but… he just couldn't leave him.

He was so small and so hurt with nobody there… it was too much.

So he visited. Twice on his own, just to check on his condition, spend a little time with him.

The third time she asked to come with. She was curious about the child who'd left her husband so captivated.

She'd tried to play it cool but he'd seen it in her eyes, in the way her face had lit up. The nurse had said she could hold him and he hadn't seen a brighter smile from her in years. She took one look into his hazel eyes and she was in love.

Together, they stood over his crib in the pediatric ward and in one simple moment they looked into each other's eyes and they knew.

This was their son.

It took time. They had to jump through so many hoops and hurdles, convincing the social worker, making sure things were in order but two months later their home became his. And six months after that so did their name.

It felt like a relief signing those papers. Knowing that the wait was over, that they'd no longer have to wonder, if and when they'd ever be parents. Their wait was over. He was a father and his wife was a mother. And he'd felt 20 pounds lighter.

It was an adjustment having Henry, one they were happy to make but truth be told another baby was the last thing on their minds when they decided to bring a second child into their lives.

Things hit closer to home this time.

In all his life he'd only loved two women, however the first had decided that she also loved women. Despite this their split had been rather amicable. So much so that she'd even made him the godfather to her son, a beautiful, brown-eyed little boy that he loved but saw rarely at best. It was a role he'd expected to be more fluff than concrete.

Oh, how wrong he'd been.

He'd never forget answering her call and hearing her news. She'd been such a vibrant, unstoppable force to him. Yet, all it took to bring her down was a 3cm growth on the left side of her brain.

They'd caught it early but detection didn't amount to much. All it did was give her just enough time to say goodbye.

Within six months he watched as his wife held his first love's hand and promised to care for her son as if he was her own. She slipped away only moments later, right before their eyes.

It was a rougher transition this time. Honestly, it took months for him to actually start feeling like their little boy instead of hers.

With the shadow of his birth mother hanging above them it was hard not to feel like they were intruding in a space that they should never have had the chance to fill. They struggled with what they wanted him to call them, it was a discussion that went on for weeks, until one day he'd looked up and called him "daddy."

It was in that moment they knew they'd never correct him. They hadn't exactly chosen their second son but he did choose them. And that was enough to make things clear.

They agreed to do whatever it took to keep his birth mother's spirit alive in his life but from now on _Roland_ was their son. No one else's.

Two boys turned out to be a handful. Even with her watchful eyes and his strict tone the house was more often than not in a state of chaos.

Things changed. Saturdays morning were now for cartoons, not gym time. Her more elaborate meals had been replaced with mac and cheese. The house was never quiet and sleeping in was certainly a thing of the past.

But they loved it. They loved their lives and they loved their boys. With everything in their heart, they loved them. Things were so close to perfect, their life was nearly complete...

But still there was something missing.

It was an ordinary Tuesday morning when she'd rolled over in bed, tapped him on his chest and said the words he never knew he'd been waiting for.

"I want a little girl."

It took two years to find her.

Two years of close calls and almost maybes, of stress and heartache and changed minds… but they found her.

They found their little girl.

Her birth mother was just a kid, barely out of high school. Smart, driven and clearly kind, with clear blue eyes that she'd passed down to their daughter.

She wanted to give her baby more than she could offer. Once or twice a year she visits but keeps her distance for the most part. She'd said it was the only thing that helped to keep the pain at bay.

Sometimes it made him feel guilty to know that the hardest day of her life had been one of the best of theirs but he'll always be grateful for the decision that she made.

She gave them their baby girl and they'll never be able to thank her enough.

Their little _Elizabeth_ is absolutely perfect.

From the moment he'd met his wife all he'd wanted to do was give her a fairytale happy ending. But he'd forgotten that happy endings don't come before difficult journeys, they come afterward.

Sometimes he wonders how different things would be if they'd gotten the ending that he'd originally planned. Would things have been easier? Simpler? Less heart wrenching?

Maybe.

But then he thinks of his three children and he remembers that even if their family had been planted in pain, it bloomed into joy.

All three of their children have different stories, none with a happy beginning. And if he and his wife had gotten the happy ending they'd originally wanted then maybe their children wouldn't have gotten theirs.

And that's a thought that neither of them can bear to entertain.

None of their three children had come into the world as theirs but in the end that doesn't really matter.

All that matters is that they'd wanted nothing more than to be parents.

And now they finally are.


	2. The Home Visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After they decide to adopt Henry, Robin and Regina get ready for their first home visit from the social worker.

Robin walked in the living room, two ties in hand, and narrowed his eyes at the decorative pillows on the couch. They were red and green with festive saying stitched onto their surfaces, which is interesting considering that thirty minutes ago they'd been pink with embroidered flowers. He sighed when he realized that his wife had changed them for the fourth time this week.

He saw her kneeling in the center of their closet, digging through a box of their old holiday decorations desperately pulling out a wreath and looking up at him wide eyes.

"We should've got a tree!" she breathlessly declares.

He doesn't even have a second to respond before she's standing up and walking past him, looking around the living in distress. Her grip on the wreath tightens as she shakes her head. "It's the end of November and we still don't have any decorations up. She's gonna think we're joyless heathens if we don't have any decorations."

Throwing his ties onto the couch, he gently pulls the wreath from her. "Regina… take a breath."

She softly groans, when her husband rests his hands on her shoulders. "Robin…"

"Just three seconds," he instructs, in a soothing tone.

Reluctantly she closes her eyes and takes in a deep breath, feeling the tension in her chest grow loose as she does. Robin reaches out to caress her cheek as she does, breathing along with her. "Better?"

She nods. "Yes," she admits. "I'm sorry. I'm just so nervous."

"Me too," he says, lightly running his fingers through her hair. "I spent the last twenty minutes trying to decide which tie to wear. And you know I only have three."

She chuckles, finally offering up a small smile. Like always, his heart leaps at the sight of it.

"I really don't want to screw this up," she whispers.

"Me neither," he replies. "But remember, this home visit it's just one more step."

"A big one," she insists. "Robin, what if she doesn't like us?"

"She will like us," he confidently promises. "We've been preparing for this for months. The house is beautiful and clean… and ready for a baby."

She'd been fretting about meeting the social worker for weeks. It was the last step before they're officially put on the adoption list. The faith in his words soothes her nerves but it's not enough to completely calm her fears.

"What if they choose to give him to someone else?" she whispers.

"They are not gonna give him to someone else." His voice is firm, assured as if he was laying down the law. "Henry is meant to be our son. And she'll see that."

His heart races as he thinks of the little boy still stuck in the NICU, still healing from the crash that had orphaned him and waiting to be brought home. The minute they'd seen him together they'd known that he was their baby. It was just a fact. One that they simply needed to prove to others.

He presses a kiss to her cheek. "Now… if I put away this wreath will you pick my tie, please."

"Yes," she says, nodding her head, returning a kiss to his lips.

Five minutes later, the wreath is returned to the closet and a tie is around his neck. They went with the red, to match her dress. Sitting on the couch, they hold hands as they wait for the social worker to arrive, standing in unison when they finally hear the doorbell ring.

Turning to her, he squeezes her hand. "Ready?"

She nods. "Ready."

Together they open the door.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments always welcome!


	3. Back to Work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Robin is shot on the job, Regina wants him to quit his job with the police force. However, Robin wants to go back to work leading to a late night fight.

They always knew it was a risk, him being hurt on the job. But the thing about a risk like that is it never feels real until it happens to you.

It was in the middle of the school day when she was called from her classroom. A sub showed up for the kids and she didn't think anything about it til she walked into the receptionist office and saw those two uniformed officers waiting for her. The sight of them knocked the air right out of her lungs. It was like someone had taken a bat right to her gut and for a brief second she was sure they were here to tell her that her husband had died. Relief swept over her when they said that he had been shot but was still alive… for now.

The rest of that day is a bit of blur but the moments that she does remember, she remembers vividly. She remembers the look on all three of her children's faces when they met her at the hospital. She remembers how heavy her words felt when she explained to them what happened. But what she remembers most is the beeping of that damn heart monitor. Even now it echos in the back of her head. The soft steady beating that told her Robin was still alive.

His surgery was a risky one. She'd made sure each of the kids had a moment with him before he went in, and of course she'd taken one for herself. Those six hours were the longest of her life but he'd pulled through with flying colors according to the doctors. Hearing that he was going to be okay was the first time she'd felt like she'd been able to breath in days.

When Robin woke up from surgery they were all there, all happy, all relieved but from that moment on a cloud had hung over them.

Regina had never once considered asking Robin to leave his job. He loved it too much, it was a part of him and she knew that. Her husband was a cop and for almost sixteen years that had never bothered her.

But seeing him in that hospital bed had changed things. She'd been terrified and she never wanted to feel that way again. She never wanted the kids to feel that scared either.

When she brought up the idea of him leaving the force he'd been apprehensive, which wasn't a surprise but still he'd promised that they would talk about it. He still had months of physical therapy to go so they had time before making any final decisions. She'd thought she'd had time to convince him… but imagine her response when she discovered that he'd already been making plans to go back to work.

It took all the restraint she had to wait for the kids to go to sleep before confronting him. Oh but when she did things quickly got out of hand. Within minutes she was reaming him out. Calling him selfish and pigheaded. It was like all the fear and frustration she'd felt since the shooting came pouring out. She didn't even realize she was yelling until he pointed it out to her.

"Lower your voice! I don't want the kids hearing this!" he hissed, gesturing towards the voice.

"Hearing what? Hearing how you almost died?" she shoots back, her voice breaking a little. "They don't need to hear it Robin, they saw it! They saw you, hooked up to a breathing tubes and heart monitors. They spent hours laying across hospital chairs wondering whether you were gonna be alive the next day or not."

"I know that and I am sorry. I really am," he says, sincerely. "But what else do you expect me to do? It's my job!"

"Then quit your job!" she begs. "You can do anything else in the world. Why do you have to do this?"

"Because it's who I am!" he earnestly replies. "It's a part of me. I love it too much to give it up."

Her hands go to her hips as the tears well up in her eyes. "More than you love us?"

He immediately shakes his head. "Do not put that on me. That is not fair!"

"It's not fair? My words aren't fair? You know what isn't fair Robin? The fact you can put on that uniform and take all the risks you like, knowing that I'm the one who has to explain them to our children. That I am the one who had to pull them out of school early and tell them that their father was shot in the chest and might not make it."

A tear runs down her face as she remembers the moment she saw their faces, so confused and afraid. She doesn't understand how he can even think of putting them through that again.

"You want so badly to be a hero Robin," she whispers. "Why isn't being our hero enough?"

A guilty sigh falls from him as he looks away from her. He wants so badly to give her a simple answer, one that will wash away all her fears and worries. One that will convince her that everything will be okay. Always.

But he doesn't have an answer like that. All he has is the truth.

"Regina… I have been a police officer since the day you met me and long before. I don't want to be anything else."

She sniffs a bit, before nodding her head. "So that's it then? You're saying that you're just gonna go back to work like my feelings don't matter?"

"I'm saying that I will go back to work eventually," he replies. "And I can wait until you're comfortable and put it off for as long as I can but it's gonna happen. I am going back to work."

His tone is gentle and apologetic, but hear in his words and see in his eyes that he's left no room for arguments. Her husband is keeping his job and there's nothing she can say to change that.

She licks her lips, letting out a seething breath, before jutting her chin out at him.

"Fine."

Gruff and angry, it's all she says before walking out of the room, leaving him calling after her.

* * *


	4. Putting Henry to Bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Robin and Regina's first week with Henry and bedtime is a bit of a challenge.

The week they brought Henry home for the first time was the worst week they ever had with him.

After spending weeks in the NICU and days in foster care they'd finally been able to bring him home and they couldn't have been more excited. For the first few hours everything was fine. They were still a bit worried about his injuries but the doctor had said he was okay and Henry gave them no reason to be scared. After a little while finally started to relax and let themselves relish having a baby around. They spent hours just looking at him, watching his hazel eyes take in his new home and finding all the different ways to make him smile and laugh. It was all they'd ever wanted.

Then bedtime came.

It was a nightmare.

They put him in his new crib and he screamed for hours. Of course, they tried to soothe him. Offered him food and lullabies, adjusted the temperature in the house as best as they could. They swayed and rocked him, laid him on his back and belly, called the doctor even. They did everything to make him comfortable but nothing seemed to work. Every time they put him back in his crib he'd wake up in a matter of minutes still crying.

After six days of the same routine - fine during the day, nightmare at bedtime - Regina started to worry that they were the problem. She and Robin loved Henry, had loved him since the minute they laid eyes on him… but what if he didn't love them? What if he didn't want them as his parents?

She came so close to voicing her fears to Robin but then the seventh night came along. It started out same as usual. They tried to put him to bed and he was all cries and kicks. They were still up by 2 am, her husband still trying to sway their squirming, angry son to sleep.

She can't remember how it even happened. Robin had passed Henry to her while she laid in bed, practically collapsing next to her in exhaustion. Still in bed she'd taken a deep breath and settled his back against her belly as he cried, closing her eyes and silently praying this would finally be the night they could all finally get some rest.

She remembers that Robin reached out to rub Henry's belly, hoping it would soothe him.

And it was like magic.

The crying stopped. As soon as they were both touching him, holding him Henry finally calmed down. That night they laid him down between both of them, each making sure they had a hand on him and listened as his breathing evened out and he finally went to sleep.

Regina would never be able to describe the relief that went through her when she realized that their son wasn't rejecting them that first week.

Turns out he just wanted to be closer to them.


	5. Daddy-Daughter Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Robin's first day alone with their newly adopted daughter and he's feeling more than a little nervous.

From the day they brought their daughter home it was clear that she had a favorite.

Ever since Regina had told him that she wanted a daughter, Robin's head had been swirling with daydreams of daddy-daughter dances and teacup parties where he got to be the prince. He loved their sons with all his heart but the idea of having a little girl soon took over his every thought.

It took them two years to find her. Adoption was never easy but dealing in specifics, like gender and race, made things twice as hard.

There had been times when they'd wanted to give up but he was glad they didn't because they finally found their girl. She was perfect. All fingers and toes, with clear blue eyes that he could almost believe came from him. He loved her the moment he saw her.

But she decidedly did not love him.

They placed him in her arms and she was crying in seconds, her wailing could quite literally be heard through the walls.

He wasn't shaken at first. When they'd adopted Henry it had taken some time for him to get comfortable and acclimated but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't hurt when Elizabeth immediately quieted when Regina took hold of her.

Over the next few weeks it became clear that their daughter was a Mommy's Girl. She was never happier than when she was in Regina's arms. Though Robin tried his best, his daughter had made her preference clear.

Her preference, however, threw a wrench in the family dynamic.

Henry and Roland loved their baby sister and of course, he and Regina had talked at length about how much attention she'd need once she came home. They had hoped, that between the two of them no one would feel left out but with Lizzy soaking up all of Regina's attention it wasn't long before the boys started feeling a bit neglected by her.

So the decision was made that she'd spend a day with the boys. Just the three of them, while Robin stayed home with Lizzy. A decision that put him more than a little on edge.

As the boys grabbed their jackets before heading out to the science center, he timidly pulled Regina aside.

"Would it be okay if I borrowed your sweater?"

Her eyebrows shot to her hairline. "Excuse me?" A surprised chuckle fell from her lips as she quizzically stared up at him. "Robin I am less than half your size and you're staying in the house. Why on earth would you need my sweater?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "Well… it smells like you…"

Regina sighed. "Are you asking for you or are you asking for Lizzy?"

He bit his lip before answering. "I'm asking for Lizzy."

"Robin…"

"She hates me," he insisted.

"Our daughter does not hate you," she immediately denied, with a roll of her eyes. "She just doesn't know you yet. You haven't spent a lot time with her."

"Because she wails every time I come close," he pointed out.

Regina looked up at him, sympathetic, before stepping closer to wrap her arms around him. "You need to let her get to know you. You can't charm every girl as fast as you charmed me."

"That took so much work, don't you dare pretend it was easy," he said, shaking his head at her.

She chuckled, smiling up at him. "Look, if you feel you need it, my perfume is in the purple bottle on my vanity. Take a spritz if it's really that important but I'm telling you… she just needs some daddy-daughter time."

She presses a quick kiss to his lips before calling out for the boys. In a flash, they're out the door leaving Robin and Lizzy to themselves.

Spurned on by the sudden silence, Robin heads up to the nursery. Lizzy is sleeping but he knows she'll wake up soon. He looks down on her and sighs. Even with her attitude toward him he knows he wouldn't trade her for anything. She's his daughter.

He reaches out to stroke her cheek. "Listen up, princess," he whispers. "You can fight it all you want but I won over your mother. Pretty sure I can win you over too."

He smiles down at her. "Just give me time."


	6. Midnight Goonies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continued from chapter 3, after Robin gets shot on the job. After his fight with Regina, Robin and Roland have a talk about whether or not he should return to work as a cop.

* * *

Robin stills remembers the day he'd signed up to be a cop. His hands had been sweating, his heart had been pounding but he'd never felt so sure of anything in his entire life. He'd spent 22 years dreaming of it, four years in college studying it and he was ready. Nothing was more important to him that getting that badge. And when he did, he'd never been prouder of himself.

He loved his job. And he was so sure there was nothing that could ever convince him to leave it.

Then he got married and had kids.

Regina, Henry, Roland and Lizzy. They're his life now. And he knew he'd left them petrified when he'd gotten shot. Now the love of his life was asking him to give up his career, the one thing he'd had to be proud of before her. And despite his insistence and firm words… he was actually considering it.

Sitting in the living room at 2am, letting their argument simmer in his head, he thought about what his future would look like if he did as she asked. Got a desk job, quit the force… He wanted to make her happy but he can't picture it, not in a way that made him comfortable, not in a way that made him feel fulfilled.

But in the back of his head, he heard a voice saying that his family was more important. That if a desk job was what it took to make them feel safe again then so be it.

He was torn.

The sound of the creaky step on the staircase caused him to lift his head. He saw his 13 year old son Roland freezing in place on the steps, eyes wide, clearly surprised to see his father up so late.

"Dad?" he whispered. "What are you doing up?"

Robin raised an eyebrow at him. "What are you doing up? It's 2am on a school night son."

Roland shrugged his shoulders. "I...I got hungry for a midnight snack."

"Hmm… and does that snack include turning on the tv and staying up for late night television?"

Roland moaned, caught. "The Goonies is gonna be on in ten minutes. I missed it earlier because of homework and I haven't seen it so long…"

Robin let out a soft chuckle. The Goonies had been Roland's favorite movie since he was five years old, and they'd shown it to his kindergarten class for Halloween. He'd been the only kid brave enough to smile at the sight of Sloth's face, instead of cowering in fear.

"It's late, Roland," he says. "You know that means you got to watch with the sound off."

A grin broke out on his son's face. "Wouldn't be the first time," he happily declared, plopping down next to his father.

It's always been hard for him to deny his children small joys. Regina calls him out on it constantly but he can't help but give in when they ask for that extra scoop of ice cream or small extension on their curfew. So of course, he knows he should send Roland back to sleep but, like the sap that he is, he just turns on the tv and watches as his son smiles up at his favorite movie.

It's in small moments like this that it hits him, over and over, that he'd almost been taken from them. The scar on his chest burns as he remembers that had he not been so lucky he wouldn't have been here to catch Roland sneaking downstairs, or to hear Lizzy practice her guitar that afternoon or to help Henry prep for his big debate the day before. He wouldn't be here to lie next to Regina at night, and feel her breathing in this arm. Had that bullet been an inch to the left or the ambulance one minute later… he could've missed everything that was coming next.

He must've grown far to quiet for his son's liking because by the time the gang finds the treasure map he hears Roland whisper, "Dad… are you okay?"

Looking over he sees concern in son's brown eyes. He's giving him that look, the same look his birth mother used to give him when they were kids, the one that says _what's going on in your head, please let me know_. It's a look that's not easily sent away.

Still, he tries. He pulls an unconvincing smile on his face and shakes his head. "I'm fine, Roland. Just tired."

It used to be so easy to wipe away Roland's fears. One small platitude and a kiss on the forehead and he'd go calm. But he'd grown up a lot in the past year, in the past month, actually. Turns out his youngest son isn't quite so easy to convince anymore.

"Is mom mad at you?" he asks. "Because you want to go back to work?"

Robin scrunches his eyebrows, caught off guard by his accuracy. "Why would you think that?"

"Because we have thin walls and mom can't whisper when she's mad," Roland pointed out.

He lets out a small puff of breath, reluctantly nodding his head. "Well that is true, her angry voice is not a quiet one," he wryly chuckles.

Roland turns to him, still concerned. "Is that why you're down here so late? She sent you to the couch?"

"No," Robin immediately shakes his head. He pats Roland's knee. "Mom and I are fine, we're just having a little disagreement. And I needed some time to think about things. Don't worry about it, everything is gonna be fine."

He sees his son press his lips together, nervous before asking, "Are you going back to work Dad?"

Robin hesitates, fearful of the worry in his son's eyes, unsure of what to say next. He takes a deep breath. "Are you ready for me to go back to work, Roland?"

With a small shrug of his shoulders, Roland shakes his head, staying silent.

"You scared for me?" Robin asks.

"A little bit," Roland admits. "Seeing you in the hospital… was hard and scary."

"I know," Robin says, squeezing his shoulder comfortingly. "I know that was rough for all of you. But I promise that I am better now. The doctors took care of me and I am fine."

Roland nodded his head. "I know."

His words were soft and solemn, Robin could feel the hesitation in them. Simply wanting to comfort him he mumbled. "Well I don't have to do go back, if that's best. I could do other things."

"Other things like what?"

"I could work at my desk, you know, provide support to other officers in the field," he lamely suggests. "You know Uncle John said I could work at his security company, so I could do that too."

He tries to sound enthusiastic for Roland's sake but honestly, both those opportunities make him want to die inside. John had been throwing the idea of a security job at him for years, he'd always refused. The pay was better, the hours were easier, and there would certainly be less bullets flying at him but he'd never considered taking it before. He didn't want to protect buildings and merchandise, he wanted to protect people. That was all he'd ever wanted up until he took one in the chest and nearly lost his life. He didn't like the idea of working security but he couldn't deny it might be better for his family now.

"So… you won't be a police officer anymore?" Roland twists up his face at the idea of it. His father had been a cop for as long as he could remember and before. He couldn't really imagine him doing anything else.

"I don't have to be a police officer to do good," Robin says. "Besides with better hours I could spend more time with you and everyone else."

Roland took in his father's word, went silent for a moment, then suddenly declared, "I think you should go back to work, Dad."

Robin's head reared back, stunned at that confidence in his thirteen year-old son's voice. In the glow of the TV screen his face was calm and certain as he continued to speak.

"You know Henry took us, me and Lizzy, to the NICU when you were in the hospital," he says.

"He did?"

"Yeah, he thought having us see all the babies that were hooked would help Lizzy not be afraid when she saw you and all the wires," he explained. "He told us about how you found him when his birth parents died."

Robin sighed, remembering the day when he'd first seen his oldest son. He was in a car wreck, still strapped into his car seat while his parents lay dead in the front seat not two feet away from him. It'd been his scariest night on the job, he'd been so afraid that the baby he found wasn't going to make it.

"It made me think," said Roland. "You know when I was a kid and you used to show up to pick me up from school in your uniform, and it always made me feel like the coolest kid in school because my dad was a hero and nobody else could say that."

"And it is cool knowing that but hearing Henry talk about how you found him… it makes it more real," Roland mumbles. "It was scary knowing that you got hurt but you help a lot of people Dad, people who matter to other people like Henry matters to us, and I don't want you stop. I like having a hero for a dad, even it means I get scared once in awhile."

Robin's throat went tight as he listened to his son speak. He realizes then that Roland, his curly-haired, bright eyed young son has started to make the turn, from wide eyed innocent boy to maturing young man. He never expected to have that moment with the Goonies playing in the background.

He smiles, reaches out "You know… you are incredible kiddo."

"So I've been told," Roland replied, flashing his signature show stopping grin.

"Well, nothing's set in stone yet," sighed Robin. "You know there's a lot to talk about with your mother and everyone else."

"I know," said Roland, nodding his head. He was old enough to know that there would always be someone in the house unhappy with some decision that had made.

"But everything's going to be okay though, I promise you that," said Robin.

Roland smiled at his father, all the worry gone from his eyes, knowing that his dad made promises all the time but somehow he'd never broken one. Everything was going to be okay.


	7. The Motel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Henry is fifteen years old he steals from his parents and Robin has to track him down to figure out why.

Robin never liked bringing work home.

Given what he did for a living, he always preferred to keep his work and home life separate, especially when it came to his attitude.

He never wanted his kids to feel policed in their own home. He and Regina agreed that wasn't the environment that they wanted for them. So everyday when he got home, he dropped his cop persona. Switched into plain clothes, eased up on the bass in his voice. Most importantly, he always tried to get the kids to come to him. Instead of interrogating and investigating like he did on the beat, he always tried to let them know that they could come to him with their mistakes and problems.

And for the most part it worked… until now.

It had started out with small things, like the fact that Henry had started asking for two sandwiches in his lunch bag. He'd claimed that he was simply growing and more hungry, which Robin would've believed if he didn't inhale his dinner every night like he was starving.

Then he started shirking responsibilities. They didn't ask much of Henry, just that he walk his brother and sister home from school everyday. But lately, Roland and Lizzy came home from school alone, shrugging when asked where their older brother was. His son was fifteen years old, perhaps he thought he was too cool to hang with his younger siblings but still, abandoning them wasn't exactly in Henry's nature.

He realized that he could no longer ignore his son's strange habits, when things started going missing around the house. When Lizzy suddenly couldn't find her winter coat. Or when Regina loss an old pair of gold earrings. Or when he suddenly realized his wallet was light on 20s.

So he reached out. Asked Henry if there was anything he'd like to share or confess to. His son had never been the greatest liar… still didn't stop him from shrugging his shoulders and feigning ignorance.

And so the hunt for the truth began.

Obviously he started with Lizzy. It was common knowledge that his baby girl took in more that she let out in terms of secrets. However, after plying her with a late night snack of strawberry ice cream with chocolate syrup she revealed that she believed that Henry had a girlfriend, a blonde girl she'd seen him with around school.

To say he was surprised was an understatement. Henry had never had a real girlfriend before, at least not to his knowledge. But it made sense. Missing earrings were probably a gift, the money was probably for dates which he went on when he ditched Roland and Lizzy after school.

He'd planned to talk to Henry about it over the weekend but then he'd gotten a call from the credit card company.

$300 dollars spent on a room at the Motel 6.

Oh…hell no.

It took nearly all his restraint not to throttle him over breakfast but he kept his cool. He figured if his son was confronted he'd simply deny everything. Better to catch him in the act so to speak.

So he followed him. He's not proud of it, he didn't want to do it but he trailed his own son after school. Watched from a safe distance as he separated from his brother and sister and took the bus two miles away.

The motel 6 wasn't in the best part of town but he breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that it wasn't too sketchy. His son knocked on a blue door and a girl his age with platinum blonde hair greeted him with a hug.

It was then that Robin's hands tightened around the steering wheel. His son had been stealing from him to meet up with his girlfriend in hotel room. the anger and disappointment he felt was enough to power a small city.

Within seconds, he'd crossed the street and pounded on the motel door. Henry opened the door and Robin saw all the blood drain from his face, and his eyes go wide.

"Dad…"

Robin simply stared as he watched his son flounder and stutter for an explanation.

"It.. it's not as bad as it seems."

"Well I can assure you it is not as good as you think," he replied through gritted teeth.

"Who's at the door?"

Robin frowned when he heard another voice, a too young voice. A young girl appeared at the door with red hair and blue eyed. She looked ten-years old… and she was wearing Lizzy's coat.

She looked up at him and tilted her head. "Are you the pizza man? Where's the pizza?"

A toilet flushed in the background and the older blonde appeared, her eyes going wide at the sight of him. Immediately she reached out for the younger girl. "Anna come here," she ordered pulling her close.

As she ushered the younger girl into the bathroom, Henry stepped outside shutting the door behind him. He looked up at his father with guilty eyes. "I can explain."

—

Robin tried to keep his anger in check as he listened to his son explain his actions.

The pizza had arrived Anna and Elsa, the blonde, were in the room eating and watching cable while he and Henry sat on the stairs to talk.

"Their parents… aren't good people," said Henry. "They lock Elsa away at home in the attic, they don't feed them much and they're… rough with her."

"Rough?"

"I noticed the bruises a few months ago," he mumbled. "Most of the time she wears gloves to cover them up but…"

Robin pressed his lips together. He didn't need his son to elaborate. He knew exactly was those girls had come from.

"They ran away a few weeks ago," Henry continued. "They kind of bounce from house to house but they couldn't find a place to stay for a while."

"Are the parents looking for them?"

"Maybe," Henry shrugged. "I don't know."

Robin let out a deep seated breath. "So that's what the motel is about? You, or should I say your mother and I, rented it for them?"

Henry nodded.

"And Lizzy's coat?"

Henry sighed. "They didn't get to leave with much and it was getting cold out."

Shaking his head, Robin looked at his son in disappointed. "Henry… what the hell were you thinking?"

"I just wanted to help," he mumbled.

Robin couldn't help raising his voice. "You wanted to help Henry? What was your long term plan here? Were you just going to keep lying and keep stealing forever? Is that what was supposed to happen here?"

"No!" Henry replied. "It was just for a week until they left for California."

"California? What's supposed to be in California?"

"Their aunt," Henry answered. "They haven't seen her in a while but they think she'll take them in."

"And are they supposed to walk there?" interrogated Robin.

"No…" Henry swallowed guiltily, averting his gaze. "I… I pawned mom's earrings to buy them bus tickets."

Robin let out a strained groan, running his hands over his face. He blew out a breath, trying his best not to blow his top. He was pissed, so incredibly pissed but even through the haze of his anger he could tell his son's heart was still in the right place.

"Henry… let me be clear. You are… in so much trouble," he said. "A ridiculous amount of trouble. An unbelievable amount of trouble. You have lied to me, stolen from your mother and even worse you have risked the safety of those two girls you're trying so desperately to help."

"But I.."

"No!" Robin cut him off. "This aunt that they're chasing? Do they even have her address? Do they even have her number?"

Henry's silence gave away his answer.

"You shacked them up in this motel with no protection from the parents who they're trying to escape. Henry I found you in less than two hours. What if I hadn't been the person to knock on them door? What if it had been them? Or somebody else with bad intentions? Do you know how many girls I find dead on the street who come from situations just like this?"

His son simply pressed his lips together, realizing that things had spun out of his control. "I just wanted to help…"

"I know," stressed Robin, placing his hands on his son's shoulders. "But you are just a kid and this is an adult problem. It's why you have me."

"I wanted to… I just didn't know what you do," he said. "Elsa doesn't want to risk going into foster care and losing her sister. I thought you would call cause that's your job."

"Yes that is my job," said Robin. "But being your father is also my job. So if this ever happens again… call me. text me. reach out for me, for godsake."

Henry nodded his head. "I'm sorry."

Robin sighed. "I know you are."

Henry hesitated before asking, "What are you gonna do now?"

"I… am going to call your mother and tell her that the girls will be staying with us for a while," he said.

"Really?"

"Yes," sighed Robin. "I will take all the information they have and see if I can find their aunt at work tomorrow. Hopefully, she'll be easy to find."

Henry allowed himself a small smile. "Thank you."

"Do not thank me," said Robin, shaking his head. "You still have to go home and explain to your mother why you thought identity theft and pawning her stuff was a good idea."

Henry frowned and Robin knew that he was imagining that hurricane of fury that awaited him when he got home. The dressing down he'd gotten from his father would be nothing compared to her lecture.

Robin gestured over his shoulder. "Go and grab your friends. We're leaving."

Watching his son walk away, Robin groaned before pulling out his cell phone to call his wife. She was rightfully upset but agreed that it was best that they take the girls in for now.

It only took a few days to find their aunt, Ingrid. She'd nearly sobbed with relief when she'd heard from them. Turns out she'd been worried about them for a while now. The girls left for California not long after.

It was the first time Henry had ever gotten into to real trouble. And though he was still a little pissed off, Robin was grateful that he could at least say that his son had a good reason.


	8. Mariposa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the kids move out, Regina meets their new foster daughter.

The decision to foster had been easy one for them. 

The kids had been out of the house for three years at the time, all off to college and careers, having their adventures. After more than twenty of raising them she and Robin reveled in the privacy and freedom for a while. They took their trips, enjoyed the silence, had sex with the door open like newlyweds. It was nice to take a rest but after few years it just felt like something was missing. 

They loved each other with all their hearts and were proud of the life that they’d built but… there was a bit of an overflow. An abundance of love and concern that felt like it had no place to go. 

After talking with Henry and visiting him at the community center he’d taken over they’d realized that they weren’t done with children yet. Sure neither of them wanted another baby, but the idea of fostering an older kid, having the chance to give another child a safe space… well it felt right. 

So they reconnected with their old social worker, got re-certified and became foster parents. 

It was hard most of the time… that’s not true, it was hard all of the time. Taking in older kids always meant that there was better chance of scars and walls. It would always take a while for them to warm up, especially to Robin. Foster kids weren’t always fond of cops. 

They did their best but sometimes it felt like the kids were yanked out of the house before they even really had a chance to connect. They didn’t get a foster a child who lasted more than a few weeks… until Mari came along. 

Mariposa Rodriguez. 

Regina got the call about her while Robin was out. She arrived within an hour and from the start Regina knew she would be a challenge. 

Fifteen-years old, Latina, dressed in ripped jeans and a too large grey tee, she wouldn’t even look Regina in the eye at the first but when she did the walls were clear. Arms crossed and scowl permanent she wore her attitude like armor, looking around the house as Regina gave her a quick tour. 

She eyed the photos of Henry, Roland and Lizzy suspiciously. “Those your real kids?” 

Regina faltered before nodding. “Yeah that’s Henry my oldest and Roland and Lizzy. They’re all out of the house now.” 

Mari looked her up and down critically. “They don’t look like you.” 

“I don’t suppose they would,” she replied. “They’re all adopted.” 

Mari’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “All of them?” 

“Yeah, all of them.” 

A scoff fell from the girl’s lips. “So you never had any real kids?” 

“Well I wouldn’t call the ones I raised imaginary,” she shot back, a little more bite to her tone than intended. 

For her part, Mari didn’t even flinch at her reaction. Instead a smirk tugged on her lips, as if she was pleased to have gotten a rise out of her. 

“Whatever,” she mumbled. “Where’s my bed?” 

Regina showed her to the guest bedroom and left her alone to get settled. As she headed downstairs for a drink, her phone buzzed in her pocket with a text from Robin. 

**IS SHE THERE ALREADY?**

Regina swiftly texted back. 

**YEP. AND SHE’S GONNA BE A HANDFUL.**


	9. The Truck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robin and Regina meet Lizzy's birth mother.

It’d been a while since he’d been able to take Regina out on a date. Between two boys and the work romance had fallen to the wayside for them. It was only when Will asked for advice on where to take Ana for their anniversary, that he realized he hadn’t taken his wife out since Valentine’s day… the year before.

So he planned a night for them. Hired a babysitter, picked a movie and a new restaurant for them to try. It wasn’t the most romantic evening but it was more than they’d had in a while. He just wished she’d enjoy it more. 

Sitting on the patio of the restaurant it almost seemed like she wasn’t even there. All night she’d been distracted, looking over her shoulder, hardly listening to a word he said. It was halfway through dinner when he finally called her on it. 

Reaching out to touch her wrist, he asked, “Hey, everything alright?” 

“Yeah,” she breathed, shaking her head. “I just feel… weird.” 

Robin sighed, sympathetically. “Are you still thinking about… Mary-Margaret?” 

Regina immediately shook her head, making him regret bringing it up. 

“It’s not that,” she mumbled, looking over her shoulder again. “It’s just… does that truck look familiar to you?” 

She described a beat up, old truck that Robin easily spotted near the end of the block. Narrowing his eyes at it, he shook his head. “Not really, no.” 

Regina sucked in a sharp breath before sneaking another look at it. “Really? i could’ve sworn I saw it outside our house this morning, and then again when I was leaving work this afternoon.” 

His eyes widened in surprise and he looked toward the truck again trying to place it. “Are you sure?” 

Regina hesitantly groaned but ultimately shook her head. “No, I’m probably just being paranoid,” she decided, waving it off. “It’s nothing.” 

Robin gave her hand a comforting squeeze but glanced at the truck once more. Maybe it was just a trick of the mind but he couldn’t shake the feeling in his gut that his wife wasn’t being as paranoid as she thought. 

———————–

They left restaurant pretty quickly after that, only staying to get dessert for the boys before grabbing the check. Returning home, they found the boys safe asleep in their beds and the babysitter diligently keeping an eye on things. After she left they got ready for bed. 

Brushing his teeth, Robin glanced out their bedroom window, his heart racing when noticed the same old truck from the restaurant sitting at the end of their block. 

“Hey honey,” he called out to Regina, who quickly appeared at his side. “Is that the car from the restaurant?” 

Regina’s eyes widened when she looked toward the street. “Yes,” she frighteningly hissed. “Oh my god.” 

She looked up at him with worried eyes, realizing that she had been followed by this truck all day. A million different thoughts ran through Robin’s head, more than a few included people he’d put away in the past, people who might want to hurt his family but he pushed them to the side. Telling her to stay inside the house, he went to investigate making sure to grab his service weapon from the safe before heading outside. 

He cautiously approached the truck, noting it’s make and license plate number. It was worn down. The blue paint was beginning to chip away with rust and the tires looked like they were due to be replaced. It looked like it was sturdy but it hadn’t been taken care of well. 

He didn’t know who he expected to find at the wheel - but he was certainly surprised when he came face to face with a teenager. 

Her blue eyes widened in surprise when he started tapping at her driver’s window. Blush rising in her cheeks, she rolled down the glass using a squeaky old crank. 

“Can I help you?” she asked, stuttering a bit as she looked up at him, frightened.

Blonde hair and narrow nose, she hardly looked a day over eighteen. Robin narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously. “What’s your name?” 

She hesitated before answering him in a small voice. “Alice. Alice Jones.” 

He grumbled curiously. He didn’t know any Joneses and he didn’t recognize her, not in the least. 

“Can I ask what you’re doing here… Alice?” 

She narrowed her eyes at him and let out a nervous breath. “What are you a cop or something?” 

With a blank face he flashed his badge at her, seeing her eyes widen in surprise. 

“Of course,” she mumbled under her breath. “Look I was just clearin’ my head. That’s not against the law, is it?” 

“No,” drawled Robin. “But loitering is. This is a private street, Ms. Jones. I’m gonna need you to move along.” 

Alice opened her mouth as if to say something else but decided against it. Instead she just nodded. “Alright… I’ll go.” 

“Good,” said Robin, staring her down. Though his instincts said that she wasn’t a threat, he still didn’t trust her. She was holding back about something. 

But it was getting late. He didn’t have time to interrogate her and he knew every second he was out here was another second that his wife was fearing the worst. So her gave her another small look before turning to walk away. 

He hadn’t taken two steps before she called out to him. “Hey!” 

When he looked back, he saw her close to tears. 

“I’m sorry I followed you,” she cried. “I just… I think I want to give you my baby.” 

Robin’s jaw dropped in shock, and he froze as he watched her climb out of her truck, revealing her very pregnant belly as she stepped out into the street. 

The hinges of her car door creaked as she slammed it closed before helplessly shrugging at him. Looking down, she ran her hands over her stomach whispering, “It’s a girl… if that matters to you.” 

Robin stared as she reached up to wipe a stray tear away, before clearing her throat and looking back at him. “So… do you want her?”  

 

 


	10. Pink Carnations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina brings flowers to Lizzy's birth mother the day after she's born to see if she wants to be involved in Lizzy's life.

Regina stood in the hospital gift shop with her heart in knots. She was a mother again, finally. Three floors up in the maternity ward there was a baby girl wrapped in a pink blanket who’d call her mom. Her daughter… Elizabeth. 

She’d only been in her life for a few hours now but she loved her so much, her heart glowed at the thought of her. 

However, her daughter wasn’t the girl on her mind at the moment. That honor went to her birth mother, Alice. 

————————-

_Double checking the address she’d gotten from the school, Regina looked up at the apartment building with a frown. It wasn’t special. It stood in a decent neighborhood, there was no noticeable wear and tear, things looked relatively safe. Triple checking the address she felt relief grow through her when she confirmed she was in the right place.  
_

_When her former student had shown up the night before, six months pregnant and begging her and Robin to take in her baby, she’d been worried that she was in trouble. Well, more trouble.  
_

_Robin had went to get her and when they’d came out in the street together she’d already disappeared.  
_

_Regina hadn’t been able to get her mind off her though. She remembered Alice from her first year working at the middle school. It’d been a nice change of pace to teach older children and the young blonde girl with bright blue eyes and a curious mind had been one of her favorites. She’d never expected this from her though.  
_

_Slipping into the building when someone walked out, Regina stepped into the elevator and pressed the button for the Jones’ floor. It was hard to find where Alice lived. The school still kept records of all their old students and it didn’t appear as if she’d moved.  
_

_Reaching their door, she hesitantly knocked two times, still internally debating whether she should be there at all. She hadn’t told Robin what she was doing. He’d suggested just waiting for her to come back on her own when she was less emotional but Regina had never been a patient person. She had to know if Alice meant what she said and she had to know now.  
_

_A few seconds later she heard the distinct rustle of a chain lock and the door opened. Poking her head out Alice looked at her with apologetic eyes, mumbling a soft, “Hi.”  
_

_“Hi,” Regina repeated, unsure of anything else to say. Before she could stop herself her eyes dropped down to Alice’s middle, settling on her baby bump. A baby girl. That’s what Robin had said. Just like they’d wanted.  
_

_“May I come in?” she asked.  
_

_After a brief moment of hesitation, Alice nodded stepping aside to let her in the apartment. Again Regina was relieved to see that things didn’t look amiss. The apartment was clean and homey. She spotted pictures of Alice at different ages on the wall, almost always with the man she knew was her father.  
_

_Killian Jones.  
_

_She’d only met the man a few times during Alice’s year as her student. She remembered that he’d been a little bit of a flirt but always devoted to his daughter, in every way. Parent teacher conferences, showing up for presentations. She could tell that the two of them were close.  
_

_Regina wondered how he was taking his daughter’s pregnancy.  
_

_Taking a seat at the kitchen table she looked at Alice expectantly and she only did the same.  
_

_“So… my husband said you dropped by last night,” she ventured.  
_

_Alice nodded. “Yeah…” She took a seat across from her, sighing as she slowly sat down. “Sorry about that. I… I didn’t mean to scare you.”  
_

_“You didn’t,” Regina immediately refuted, shaking her head. “You just… caught us by surprise.”  
_

_Alice simply bit her lip, averting her gaze.  
_

_Silence fell over them and Regina was struck by how small she looked. The girl she remembered had been happy and loud. Not in a way that was necessarily disruptive to class but she’d always been filled with this… joy. An innocent happiness that couldn’t be hidden.  
_

_That was gone now.  
_

_The light in her eyes. The smile on her face. It was as if they’d never been there at all.  
_

_Regina cautiously reached out to touch her hand. “Alice… are you alright?”  
_

_“No.”  
_

_Her answer came out soft and broken as her bottom lip trembled. “Are you here to take my baby? Do you want her?”  
_

_Regina’s heart clenched and blood rose to her cheeks. Every ounce of physical restraint she had went towards stopping herself from shouting “Yes! Yes I want your little girl!” because she did. She so desperately did but that’s not the reason she came here. At least not the only reason.  
_

_Self concisously swallowing her feelings, she gently rubbed Alice’s hand. “Maybe… maybe we should wait until your father is here to talk about this?”  
_

_A tear ran down Alice’s cheek. “My father is dead.”  
_

_Regina’s blood ran cold at her simple admission. Her eyes widened as Alice wiped away her tear and continued to speak.  
_

_“He drowned during a storm a few weeks ago,” she revealed, letting out a shuddering breath. “He… he was supposed to help me with this. He promised he would.”  
_

_She ran her hands over her stomach protectively, biting her lip as she tried to suck in her tears.  
_

_“But he’s gone now and I…I can’t do this. Not by myself, not alone,” Alice tearfully declared.  
_

_“What about your baby’s father?” Regina wondered._

_Alice scoffed, shaking her head. “He doesn’t want to be here. He’s a kid… I’m a kid and I want… I want more for her.”  
_

_Regina’s heart broke listening to Alice speak out on all her troubles. It was clear that she was devastated by everything.  
_

_Taking a deep breath, Alice raised tilted her head. “But you… you and your husband could take her. You could adopt her… just like you adopted your son.”  
_

_Regina nodded understandingly, remembering that Alice had been in her class the year that she and Robin had officially adopted Henry. She remembered bringing him to class to show him off, how happy all the students had been for her, especially Alice. At the end of the year party she’d even offered to babysit him whenever they wanted. She and Robin had laughed at it.  
_

_The idea of it leaving their baby alone with a girl who was only ten years older than him.  
_

_Just a kid.  
_

_“I need her to have more than just me,” said Alice. “I need her to have a family and I want it to be yours, please…. will you take her?”_

————- 

She settled on a bouquet of pink carnations, it was the only thing in the gift shop that wasn’t annoyingly cheerful. 

She and Robin might’ve finally gotten their baby girl but Alice just lost hers and she didn’t want to rub that in her face. The flowers they were beautiful but non-descript. Perfect for any occasion, somber and joyful. 

Things were quiet in Alice’s hospital room. There were no visitors, her father had been only family and friends were a rare luxury for pregnant teens. Still in her hospital gown she laid on the bed, still looking exhausted. She looked up when Regina walked in with the bouquet, awkwardly holding them up. 

“I brought these for you,” she said, presenting them to her. “I thought they could brighten things up in here.” 

Alice nodded as she set them on the nightstand next to her bed. “They’re pretty. Thanks.” 

Again, a heavy silence fell over the two mothers. Emotion filled the air, the mixture of sorrow and gratitude soon becoming stifling. 

“How is she?” Alice softly asked. 

“She’s good,” Regina gently answered. “Beautiful. We named her Elizabeth.” 

Alice offered her a tragic smile. “That’s a good name.” 

Regina nodded, unsure of what else to say. Taking a deep breath, she mumbled, “Would you like to see her?” 

She didn’t know what answer she wanted in response, yes or no. To her surprise, Alice went with neither. “I already saw her.” 

Regina’s eyes widened. “You did?” 

“Yes.” Alice nodded. “They handed her to me after everything… I… I held her.” 

Her voice broke a little as she spoke. “She looked perfect.” 

Tears welled up in Regina’s eyes as she imagined Alice, this young girl holding her newborn baby in her arms only to send her away. 

“You know, we’ve never talked about if you would be involved-” 

“I don’t want to see her again.” Alice cut her off, her voice solid and resolute despite the tears in her eyes. “I can’t see her again. It would be… too hard.” 

Regina nodded her head, understandingly. She could only imagine how hard it was to let go of a child once but twice? Three times? Every year? She doesn’t know if she could handle that kind of pain. And she doesn’t blame Alice for not wanting to. 

Taking Alice hand in her own, she swallows her emotions again. “If you ever want to reach out… you know where we are?” 

“I do.” Alice nodded. “Thank you for taking my baby.” 

Regina smiled at her. “Thank you for giving us our daughter.”


	11. The Pawn Shop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry tries to find out more about his birth parents.

There was no one in the world Roland trusted more than his older brother, Henry.

Sure he teased him a lot about all his nerdy comic books and stuff but the truth was he admired the guy. Henry was smart, and nice and never afraid to be himself, something Roland couldn't exactly say that he was.

He trusted Henry with all his secrets, even the ones about his sexuality. So he couldn't help but be a little hurt when he discovered that his brother didn't trust him with all of his.

It was half an hour after school ended when he saw his older brother waiting for the city bus, which was odd because he'd told everyone that he was working at the comic book store only two blocks from their high school. The only reason Roland had managed to catch him was because his tutor had cancelled their session for the day.

It was weird. He was dressed up in a nice suit, even had his hair combed for once. Sliding into the shadows Roland sent him a quick text, asking if he was still at the library. He watched as his brother texted back _yes_ in an instant.

Clearly, a lie.

Just like that he made the decision to follow him. It wasn't that hard honestly. Henry had his headphones in and was, thus, ignoring everything about the outside world. He didn't even see Roland sneak onto the bus with him.

They weren't on the bus for long, twenty minutes at best but when they got off shivers went down Roland's spine. The neighborhood was sketchy, with liquor stores on every corner, the sound of sirens and shady looking people wandering the street.

He watched, uncomfortably as his brother went into a pawn shop in the middle of the block with two older men standing outside it looking just as dressed up as his brother. Something about them gave him the creeps. The sign said Gold's Pawn Shop.

Shrugging off his instinct to run in the other direction, he swallowed hard before crossing the street and walking up to the store. The two men by the door stared him down fiercely as he walked inside, sending goosebumps over his skin. Something about this place wasn't right he could tell.

Two men at the counter stopped talking as soon as he walked in. One of them, a man with a shoulder length haircut and brown eyes, passed the other a small brown package while keeping his eyes trained on Roland.

"Lost your way son?"

Roland struggled to find words under his gaze. "I was just looking for…"

"He was looking for nothing."

Henry appeared, a wild, frightened look in his eyes as he stood next to his brother. "This is my friend he just came to borrow some cash, ."

Mr. Gold nodded at him. "Fine. Give him what he needs and get back to work. I don't pay you to socialize."

His words were strict but his tone was playful as he affectionately stared at Henry, who nodded in assurance.

Gripping his shoulder tight, he pushed his younger brother toward the door and out into the street. "What the hell are you doing here?" he hissed.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Roland said, his fear bubbling up as they walked to the end of the block. "What is this place? It's sketchy as fuck!"

"It's not your business!" Henry shot back. "Or mom and dad's so keep your mouth shut and go home!"

Roland's eyes widened in surprised at Henry's hostile attitude. Their father had always told him to trust his gut and his gut told him that something wasn't right about that place. There was something dangerous about it. Something… illegal.

"I'm telling mom and dad," he threatened. "I'll call them right now if you go back in there."

"Don't!" Henry begged.

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't!"

"Because that is my grandfather!" Henry revealed, going breathless. "He's my… biological grandfather."

Roland paused in surprise. His grandfather?

"Look… just go home Roland," he said. "Don't tell mom and dad and I'll tell you everything when I get back, okay?"

Roland searched his brother's face and his own gut. "Okay."

—-

It was hard going home and pretending like everything was okay. He felt like he was on pins and needles until Henry came into his room later and told him the whole story.

"I wanted to find my birth parents," he explained, sitting next to his brother at the foot of his bed.

"Your birth parents?" Roland raised his eyebrows. "Henry…"

"Yeah I know they're dead," he said, rolling his eyes. "I just… wanted to see where they were buried. To see them, I guess."

Roland nodded his head understandingly. He took a trip to see his Mama's grave every once in a while. It was the only place where he really felt close to her now.

"When I got there I saw . He didn't see me but I followed him."

"Why would you follow him?"

"Because he was at their graves. I didn't know who he was but he knew them and if I was ever gonna learn anything about them he was my only chance. So I followed him to the pawn shop and asked for a job there."

Roland shook his head. "Henry that place is dangerous."

"I know."

"You know?" Roland stressed. "Man, I looked it up online people have been shot there. Some people it's a drug den…"

Henry shook his head. "That's not true."

"How the hell would you know?"

"Because I do," he said. "I've worked there for three weeks. I haven't seen any drugs around."

"Just because you don't see them doesn't mean they're not there!"

"Look it's not forever," said Henry. "I just wanted to learn about my birth parent and he talks about my birth father a lot." Henry's eyes lit up. "You know he went on a road trip to follow his favorite band when he was sixteen. He liked superheroes like I did."

"Cool," mumbled Roland, still unconvinced this whole thing was worth it.

"Come on, Ro," said Henry. "Haven't you ever wondered about your birth father?"

Roland scoffed. "You mean the guy who jacked off into a cup for money? Oddly enough, no."

Henry rolled his eyes. "Okay, fine but what about your mom. Don't you wanna know about her?"

"I do," Roland replied. "Dad tells me stories about her all the time. So does Mom."

"And that's what I mean," stressed Henry. "You get to hear about your mom all the time, and Lizzy's gonna have her birth mom back in her life now. The only one who doesn't know where they come from is me and it's… it's making me feel like I don't know who I am."

Roland's eyes turned sympathetic. "Damn… I didn't know you felt like that."

"I didn't used to but now…"

"Okay fine," sighed Roland. "I get it but does this Gold guy even know that you're his grandkid?"

"No I haven't told him," said Henry, shaking his head.

"You need to tell Mom and Dad."

"No!"

"Then quit," demanded Roland. "I get wanting to know where you come from but that place isn't safe. And… I don't want to keep your secret if it means there's a chance that you get hurt."

Henry groaned throwing his head back. "Fine… if I quit will you keep quiet?" Roland nodded. "Fine, I'll call Mr. Gold tomorrow and let him know."

"Thank you," sighed Roland, feeling a weight lift off his shoulders. He looked at his older brother sympathetically. "I still think you should tell mom and dad how you feel."

Henry shook his head. "No, they wouldn't take it well and you know it."

"Maybe not at first but they'd deal with it," said Roland. "They're letting Lizzy get to know Alice. Maybe they'll help you find out stuff about your birth parents."

Henry shrugged his shoulders. "It'd just be facts and numbers, like a background check. It wouldn't be real."

"It'd be a start," he replied. "At least give them a chance."

"Maybe…" mumbled Henry, standing to his feet. "We'll see."

Roland watched his brother head back to his room, a sinking feeling in his gut. Somehow he knew that Henry's secret was only just beginning to fester.


	12. Roland's Wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robin talks to Roland in the moments before his wedding.

Robin eyed the curious flowers on the tables as he made his way through the reception area. Regina had ordered him to do a final check through and he wouldn’t dare defy her on this day. Weddings always put his wife into overdrive, even more so when they were their childrens’. 

Thank god, they’d gotten the flowers right. Roland had been absolutely adamant about having Birds of Paradise. They’d been his favorite flower since he was five years old and he’d first saw them in the florist shop. Robin smiled wistfully at the memory. How can something feel so long ago and just like yesterday at the same time? 

He double checked his watch. 30 minutes until the ceremony started. Guests had already started to arrive. He should probably go and mingle but his heart told him to go somewhere else. 

Making his way upstairs, he went to see his son in his private dressing room for the day. To his surprise, he found Roland alone looking in the mirror, fixated on his tie for some reason. 

Robin smiled, walking over to him. “Hey son.” 

Roland shot him a nervous smile. “Hey…” 

“Where is everyone?” he asked, looking around the room curiously. 

Roland shrugged his shoulders. “Henry went to check on Ella. Alice and Robin showed up so Lizzy went to meet up with them and I’m pretty sure Mom’s yelling at some poor unsuspecting soul who has no idea what they did wrong.” 

Robin chuckled, before reaching out to rest his hand on Roland’s shoulder. Looking at their reflections in the mirror he was struck by just how grown up his son looked. Hell, he was almost 28, the same age he’d been when he and Regina had finally adopted Henry. 

He saw Roland reach for his tie once again, grimacing. “Maybe I should’ve gone with the bowtie instead?” 

Robin shook his head. “You can’t pull off a bow tie. Remember, the whole family had a vote about it.” 

The memory of the whole bow tie debacle brought a smile to Roland’s face. 

“Guess we can’t all be as blessed as Lizzy,” he quipped, thinking of his younger sister who firmly declared that if she was to stand at the alter with him she’d be wearing a suit same as everybody else. 

Robin tilted his head at him. “How are you feeling, Ro?” 

His son blew out a sharp breath. “Really nervous dad. Feel like my chest is gonna explode a little but… in a good way.” 

“I thought so,” said Robin, nodding his head with a grin. “That’s how I felt the day I married your mom.” 

“Really?” 

“Oh yeah,” Robin assured him. “Felt like I could feel every single heartbeat. It was ridiculous.” 

He could still remember how sweaty his palms felt when he’d been standing up at that alter waiting for her to appear. He’d never been so nervous in his life but the moment he saw her… it was like magic. Seeing her he knew he couldn’t have been making a better choice. 

“Good to know,” chuckled Roland, letting out a sigh. “How’s Drew doing? Do you know?” 

“Your mother and I checked on him. He’s doing great,” replied Robin. “Only half as nervous as you.” 

He paused for a beat, thinking of the man his son was going to marry. “You know, he’s a really good man Ro. I’m glad you’re gonna have him.” 

“Me too,” mumbled Roland, smiling to himself. “I’m glad you love him. You never liked any of the boys I brought home.” 

“Mmm… if we’re being honest some of the girls you’ve brought home weren’t that great either,” he pointed out, earning a belly laugh from his son. “But I like Andrew. He’s a good man, he’s got a good heart and he’s gonna take care of you which is all that I want. I’m truly that pleased that he’s gonna be part of the family… even if he is a criminal defense attorney.” 

“Dad…” 

“I’m just saying he could’ve chosen a better field of law,” he laughed, along with his son. 

Even with the jokes, he knew his son couldn’t have chosen a better match. Andrew was smart, good looking and passionate. He loved sports and cooking. Most importantly, he made Roland a better person. Ever since he’d come into their lives Robin had noticed how much calmer and focused Roland had been and he could only attribute that to the man who held his heart. He couldn’t have hoped for more for his son. 

The door to the room opened and in walked Lizzy, a smile on her face. “Hey Daddy!” 

“Hey Princess,” he said, giving her a kiss on the cheek. Roland was right, she looked good in her dark blue suit and bow tie. 

“So…” she drawled, patting her dad on the shoulder. “You need to head downstairs. When I left mom was confronting the caterers and I’m half sure somebody’s dead by now.” 

Robin groaned, rolling his eyes. Already he was mentally thinking of ways he could calm down his wife. 

Turning to his son, he offered him another proud smile. “Hey… I’ll see you down there, alright?” 

“Okay,” Roland nodded his head. “You’ll make sure I don’t trip right?” 

“I can’t promise that,” he jokingly replied before heading toward the door. Once he stepped out into the hallway, he let out a deep breath and checked his watch again. Ten minutes until the ceremony started and he and Regina walked their son down the aisle. 

God… where does the time go?


	13. Big Sisters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For Regina, talking with her foster daughter stirs up old feelings about her family.

Regina didn’t like invading her kids’ privacy, especially not her foster kids. 

Most of the older kids that they’d taken in have experienced living situations where none of their boundaries were respected and she and Robin tried their best to give them a better experience while they were in their care. Some of them still kept secrets though. 

She never took it personally though. If anything she understood. When you thought the person in charge might be out to get you, it’s safer to keep the important things to yourself. She supposed that was why Mari had hidden all the letters. 

All she’d wanted to do was clean her room a little bit. Mari was a handful, fond of backtalk and full of walls, but not exactly difficult. She followed rules, showed up to school everyday and generally raised no problems. If there was one area where she lacked it was simply cleanliness. 

Mari was a messy girl, letting clothes drop all over the floor, leaving globs of hair product in the sink, half empty cups left out for days. She was better about it in the common areas of the house - living room and kitchen - but after several months of having her in the house Mari’s room had started to make Regina’s skin crawl. 

Regina liked having things in order, it was necessary for her to feel calm. Messes made her feel paranoid and, honestly, a little unsafe. One day she looked into Mari’s room and just couldn’t take it anymore. 

She’d been putting Mari’s folded clothes back into their drawers when she stumbled upon the letters. At least a dozen of them, all sent from the women’s state prison. 

She grappled with whether to open them, tried to remind herself that it was best to respect her foster daughter’s privacy but… she was concerned and put on edge by the mess around her. 

So… she opened them. 

—————-

When Mari got home from work she found Regina waiting for her at the kitchen table. Fear and apprehension flashed in her eyes when she said she wanted to talk. Looking back, Regina realized that she probably expected to be told that she was being sent back to the system again. 

Instead, Regina simply slid the letters onto the table and waited for Mari’s reaction. 

In an instant the fear and apprehension turned to anger and hurt. “You went through my stuff?” 

“I was cleaning your room.” 

“I can clean my own damn room.” 

“Well no one would know by how it looks,” she shot back. 

“I trusted you! You had no right to go through my drawers!” said Mari, raising her voice and snatching the letters off the table. 

Regina’s rebuttal died on her lips as Mari rushed from the table and stomped up the stairs, slamming the door to her room. She let out a regretful sigh, realizing that she might’ve lost what little ground they’d made in getting Mari to open up. 

—————- 

She gave Mari a few hours to cool, per Robin’s request. ( _”How did you expect her to react babe? You, of all people, should’ve known better than to give her a bed check.”_ ) When she knocked on her door, she found the room in much better shape than she left it. Clothes were picked off the floor, the bed was made and even the bookshelf was alphabetized. She would’ve been relieved if Mari’s choice to clean hadn’t stemmed from the desire to keep her out of her room. 

The girl in question was sitting at her desk, doing left over homework with her headphones in. She saw Regina walk in and rolled her eyes. 

“I’m working,” she snapped at her. 

“I know,” replied Regina, letting Mari’s hostility roll off her back. “I just wanted to have a talk with you.” 

Mari sighed. “What?” 

“I just wanted to apologize,” she said. “You were right. I shouldn’t have been going through your things without telling you. Robin and I promised to respect your privacy and I’m sorry that I couldn’t hold up that promise.” 

Mari suspiciously narrowed her eyes, thrown off. “Okay…fine.” 

“But…” drawled Regina, leaning against the doorway. “I still wanted to talk to about the letters you got.” 

Noticeably bristling, Mari spat, “What’s there to talk about?” 

“They’re from your sister,” Regina softly mumbled. “It sounds like she misses you.” 

“And?” 

“And… have you written back to her?” 

“Nope,” Mari simply answered, trying to return to her homework. 

Regina softly sucked in a breath. “You know if you wanted to see her…” 

“I don’t want to see her,” snapped Mari. “There’s no reason to.” 

There was bite to her tone and resentment in her eyes. And Regina could understand why, she’d read Mari’s file. She’d been put into the foster system after her mother died when she was seven years old. When she was 11 her older sister had gotten custody of her but she was only 18 years old herself. It was only a year later when she got arrested and Mari was sent back to the system. 

“Look, I know she made some mistakes in the past but she is still your sister and -” 

“And what?” snapped Mari, cutting her off. “I’m supposed to forgive her? No, not when she’s the reason I am stuck here!” 

Her voice started to shake as she looked up at her foster mother. “She was supposed to take care of me! She promised she would and she screwed it up running drugs for her dumbass boyfriend instead of getting a real job! I don’t need to forgive! Not when everything I’ve been through is her fault!” 

Regina’s heart pounded at Mari’s sudden outburst. She took a deep breath, trying not to let show how much it rattled her. Pausing for a beat, she crossed her arms and pressed her lips together before speaking again. 

“I understand,” she said. “She failed you and you’re mad at her for that. You have every right to be. But she did try Mari. And she’s still trying even if you’re not.” 

Mari just shook her head. “Whatever…” 

“You know… I have a sister,” she mumbled. “She’s a few years older than me. Zelena.” 

She paused, taking a moment to think of her sister. It’d been years since they’d last seen each other outside of social media. She hadn’t even come to Henry or Roland’s weddings, had found an excuse to miss both. Not that Regina was surprised by that. 

“Our mother was…strict,” she said. “Scary strict. She liked things to be exactly as she wanted or she would… not react well. 

“Once when I was six and Zelena was ten she told us to have the house clean by the time she got home from work and we did our best. We scrubbed the house clean until it sparkled but I… I made a mistake. I was supposed to clean the kitchen and instead of sweeping into the dustpan and throwing it out, I swept the crumbs under the fridge.” 

She shrugged her shoulders. “I thought she wouldn’t check there but she did. And she was furious at us. That night, at the beginning of winter when temperatures were in the low 30s at the warmest part of the day, she handed us two sleeping bags and said if we didn’t respect the house she gave us then we couldn’t sleep in it.” 

“She made you sleep outside,” Mari said. 

“For the next three days, yes,” she said, with a nod. “It’s why I like - why I need for things to be clean around the house. Our childhood was not pleasant.” 

A completely understatement but Mari only shrugged her shoulders. “I’ve heard worse.” 

“I bet you have but that’s not the point,” said Regina. “The point is for years I used to dream of running away with my sister. I used to think that one day she’d wake me up in the middle of the night and we’d escaped our mother together and find some place to be happy. We escaped but we each had to do it on our own. 

“She went off to college and never came back. Didn’t call, didn’t write, didn’t reach out at all.” 

Talking about it still stung. She’d thought she and her sister had been in it together but turned out she was wrong. 

“She didn’t care about you,” muttered Mari. 

“No,” said Regina. “She cared about me, she just cared about herself more… because she had to.” 

She paused before continuing. “Once I went to college I reached out to her. Took a couple tries but she let me come visit. For a while everything was fine…until I brought up our mother and it was like… she shrunk three sizes in front of me. Instant reaction. She cried and bawled and lashed out at me. Said she knew letting me visit was a bad idea, that I’d set her back. 

“So I left, checked with her roommate a few days later they said she’d been a little depressed since I brought everything up,” she mumbled. “That’s when I realized that even though my sister loved me… she connected me with a painful part of her past that can still break her with a single thought.” 

Regina shrugged her shoulders. “So we don’t talk anymore, she doesn’t come around anymore. And it hurts but I know it’s what she needs to survive so I let it be.” 

Mari rolled her eyes. “Big sisters suck.” 

“Big sisters… are people,” said Regina. “Who have their own weakness and strengths and pain and mistakes. And Zelena might not talk to me anymore but it doesn’t change the fact that she’s still the girl who snuck an extra blanket into my sleeping bag so I could be as warm as possible. I still wish her the best.” 

“What’s your point?” asked Mari. 

“My point is… everyone tries,” she said. “Your sister tried to take care of you. Did she succeed? No. And if talking to her and being around her makes you feel bad or unsafe then I get why you want to avoid her. And I’ll do all I can to support you in that… but if you’re just doing it because you want to punish her for not being the superhero you expected her to be? Then believe me, you’ve succeeded.” 

“Because as someone who’s been cut off by the last piece of family she had I can tell you… it stings a lot harder than I think you know.” 

Mari just crossed her arms, remaining silent. 

“Don’t bite your nose to spite your face Mari,” advised Regina. “Being alone in this world is a lot harder than you think.” 

Mari looked up at her with hard eyes. “I’m already alone.” 

She slipped her headphones back into her ears, silently signaling the end of their conversation. Regina sighed walking out of her room and shutting the door behind her. 

As she walked down the hall towards her bedroom she slipped her phone from her pocket. Opening facebook, she pulled up Zelena’s profile. She looked good, happy, judging by the photos. 

Staring at her older sister’s picture she wondered, as she always did, what her life would’ve been like if her big sister had been just a little bit stronger. 

She didn’t know that down the hall her foster daughter was staring at old letters wondering the exact same question.


	14. The Pill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written for day 2 @oqpromptparty, based off prompt #236 where Regina sneaks their daughter birth control pills and Robin finds out.

“We need to talk.” 

 

Regina sighed unclipping her hair from the bun she’d thrown it into for work. It was a Wednesday afternoon and she came home to find Robin waiting for her in their bedroom. A sight which might’ve excited her had it not been for the look on his face and the fact that she’d just spent the last 9 hours dealing with 30 middle schoolers still riding their sugar high from leftover halloween candy. Honestly, she was dead tired and simply looking forward to a night where she could just pop a frozen lasagna into the oven and relax with her husband and daughter. 

 

So imagine her disappointment when she came home to find him waiting for her, still dressed in his uniform and clearly ready to thrown down. And not in a good way. 

 

“Can it wait Robin, really?” she begged, slipping off her heels. “I’ve had such a long day and I’m sure whatever it is can be talked about in the morning.” 

 

Normally she wouldn’t be so nonchalant with him but she was tired. Besides what could he possibly have to be so upset about. As far as she knew she hadn’t done anything wrong. 

 

“No it can’t wait until the morning,” said Robin, standing from the bed. “I’ve got something I need to discuss now.” 

 

Blowing out a tired breath she raised her eyebrows at him. “Fine. What is it that’s so important?”    
  


He stared her down. “I stopped by the pharmacy today.” 

 

_ Oh shit.  _

 

Regina straightened her back as she realized just why he was so upset. “Oh.” 

 

“Yeah,” Robin nodded at her. “I called in a prescription this morning, my back was acting up again. Funny thing though when I got there to pick it up, they mixed up my order. Turns out there was another order put in a little while ago under the name Locksely. A prescription for birth control.”  

 

Regina shut her eyes.  _ Jesus Christ _ . 

 

Crossing his arm, Robin continued on. “Now unless I’m mistaken you haven’t been on any birth control since we found out we couldn’t conceive. So either you’re hiding one hell of a miracle from me… or it’s the worst case scenario.” 

 

“Robin…” 

 

“Because the only other person in this house who could possibly need those is our fifteen year old daughter,” he bit out, with flares of anger in his eyes. “So Regina… please tell me there’s a secret miracle.”    
  


She took a deep breath before planting her hands on her hips and looking him in the eye. “Robin… Lizzy came to me a few weeks ago…” 

 

“No…” 

 

“We sat down and had a talk…”    
  


“C’mon….” 

 

“And we decided that she should go on the pill,” finished Regina. Ignoring her husband’s indignant moans, she pressed on. “So I took her to the doctor and got her a prescription.” 

 

“Are you kidding me? Behind my back?”  

 

“Only because I knew you would react this way,” she pointed out. 

 

“How else am I supposed to react? She’s fifteen years old!” he replied, raising his voice an octave. Nervously tapping his police belt, he sucked in a sharped breath. “Is she… I mean has she ever…?” 

 

He trailed off, unwilling to finish that sentence, unwilling to imagine his little girl even thinking of doing such things. She was so young, too young. She didn’t even have a boyfriend goddamnit! At least not one that he knew of. 

 

A relieved breath left him when he saw Regina shake her head. 

 

“No she hasn’t,” she mumbled, crossing her arms. Her eyebrows knit together. “A least I don’t think so.”    
  


Robin’s eyes went wide. “You don’t  _ think _ so?” 

 

“She said that she hasn’t and I believe her,” clarified Regina. “Our daughter keeps many secrets Robin but she’s not an outright liar. You know that.” 

 

“God,” he sighed, stressfully running his fingers through his hair. He was sure this conversation alone would give him two more patches of grey. 

 

“Fine if she’s not having it then why does she need the pills?” he stressed. 

 

“I don’t know that she actually needs them Robin. I think she just thinks that it’s best that she have them,” explained Regina as gently as possible. “She wants to protect her body. She’s just trying to be proactive.” 

 

“Proactive,” scoffed Robin. “Who needs to be that proactive?” 

 

“Our daughter,” Regina forcefully drawled. “Remember the one who wrote out a meal plan for the first three weeks of kindergarten?  And who asked for two raincoats in the fourth grade, just so she could keep a spare one at school just in case? She’s just trying to think ahead. And you know what? After what happened with Roland maybe that’s not such a bad thing.” 

 

He lifted a dissenting finger in her direction. “What happened with Roland was… well I don’t know what happened there but it wasn’t the same as this. Lizzy isn’t Roland.” 

 

“No she isn’t,” agreed Regina. “Because Lizzy is a girl and has a lot more to worry about than the boys when it comes to sex.” 

 

“The hell she does,” Robin humorously chuckled. “She has nothing to worry about because it’s not happening. Because she’s not getting those pills.” 

 

Regina threw her head and groaned. “Robin…” 

 

“I mean it Regina. I’m putting my foot down.” 

 

His wife tilted her head at him, a fire suddenly lit behind her brown eyes as she stared up at him. “Excuse me Robin? You can put your foot down all you like but I am not gonna allow you to micromanage our teenage daughter’s body like you’re a fucking member of congress. She asked for the pills, she’s getting them. End. Of. Discussion.” 

 

Before he could even think of a response she spun on her heel and marched into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. 

 

So much for a relaxing evening. 

 

\------------------------

 

They say you shouldn’t blink when you become a parent. You blink once and you’ll miss your kid’s whole childhood, it’ll whizz past you in a flash, leaving you in an empty house wondering where the hell all the time went. 

 

Robin used to roll his eyes at that sentiment. He’d been so arrogant then. 

 

It seemed like only yesterday he was chasing after his kids, changing their diapers, making sure they didn’t fall down the stairs or get into messes. With all three of them it felt like those days would never end. 

 

Then he blinked. 

 

His kids grew up. Henry and Roland were already gone, the former only two months away from getting his bachelor’s degree and the latter, half a world away traveling through Europe. The only one left was Lizzy, his princess. And even she was slipping through his fingers. 

 

He knocked on her door later that night and slipped into her room while she was studying. Looking around he sighed. When they’d first brought her home the walls had been pink, there were stuffed animals everywhere and a bassinet against the wall. He’d used to spend long nights sitting in a rocking chair next to her closet singing old Britney Spears songs to get her to sleep. Things had transformed quite a bit since then. The bassinet was replaced with a full size bed. The pink walls were gone painted a painted a cool green when she was in middle school and plastered with old posters of role models and movies she’d picked up on the way. It was a young woman’s room now. 

 

Looking up from her book, she eyed him suspiciously as she took a seat on the side of her bed. 

 

“Hey daddy,” she drawled, narrowing her eyes. “What’s up?” 

 

“Nothing,” he lied, shrugging his shoulders. “I just wanted to check in on you. Feels like we haven’t had any alone time in a while.” 

 

She tilted her head at him. “Okay…” 

 

“So… what’s new?” he ventured. 

 

Lizzy searched his face, her blue eyes scanning him for five seconds at most before she rolled them and reluctantly set her book aside. “Mom told you about the birth control, didn’t she?” 

 

No one in the house had ever been able to keep a secret from Lizzy, yet somehow it always took Robin by surprise how quickly she was able to cut through the bullshit. 

 

He hesitated as she looked at him expectantly, crossing her arms as she did so. Finally, he sighed and came clean. “She didn’t tell me. I found out on my own,” he revealed. “You’re not the only one who can sniff out a secret around here.” 

 

“True,” she said, nodding her head appreciatively. Looking away, she mumbled, “I didn’t want you to know.” 

 

“Well, I do,” he replied. “And I got to admit, I’ve got some concerns.” 

 

Subconsciously she tugged on on the end of the braid that fell over her shoulder. “Are you mad at me?” 

 

“No,” he immediately assured her, reaching out to give her hand a squeeze. “I’m not mad, bug. I promise. I’m just confused, and a little worried about you”  

 

Lizzy let out a reluctant huff. “Well you don’t have to. I’m not having sex Dad.” 

 

Despite his relief, Robin still tried not to wince at her bluntness. “Then why do you feel the need to take the Pill? Are you thinking of… it?”    
  


“No!” she, said twisting up her face. “It’s not like I even have a boyfriend to do it with.” 

 

Before Robin couldn’t even relish a second of relief she added, “But I might… someday soon. You know the guys at school aren’t great but one of them might mature enough for a second look.” Nervously averting her gaze she continued. “Dad I’m just trying to be responsible for me. You know I talked about it with Alice the last time I saw her and she thought it was a good idea.” 

 

Robin’s eyebrows rose at the mention of Lizzy’s birth mother. “Alice suggested you get on birth control?” 

 

“Well, yeah,” said Lizzy, as if it should be obvious. “C’mon you really didn’t think it was Mom, right?” 

 

“I had a feeling it wasn’t,” he mumbled, knowing he’d probably have to eat crow for his wife over the next few days. He’d also need to have a serious conversation with her birth mother about boundaries. 

 

“I don’t see what the big deal is,” said Lizzy, shaking her head. “You gave Henry and Roland condoms when they were my age.” 

 

“No I didn’t.”  

 

Lizzy sent him a disbelieving look identical to Regina’s. “Dad… you put them under the sink in the bathroom… that I use… two inches away from where we stored the spare toilet paper. I saw them every day. Did you really think I didn’t know what they were?” 

 

Robin cursed under his breath. He’d warned the boys to be stealthy about where they kept the box. “Well… that was different.” 

 

“Because they’re boys?” 

 

“No because… they were dating,” he floundered. “And you aren’t.” 

 

“Oh,” she sarcastically drawled nodding her head. “So if I did get a boyfriend, then could I have birth control?” 

 

Robin sucked his teeth, clearly uncomfortable with the turn of their conversation. Lizzy just grinned at him triumphantly, always pleased to needle her father with the flaws of his own logic. 

 

“Going through all these hypotheticals isn’t going to get us anywhere,” he deflected. “I just… I’m not so sure that I’m comfortable knowing that you’re taking them, right now.” 

 

Lizzy sighed, annoyed. “Does it really bother you that much, Dad?” 

 

“A little bit sweetheart,” he admitted. 

 

“Fine,” she said, shaking her head. “Then I won’t take them.” 

 

“You won’t?” 

 

“Nah,” she mumbled. “It’s not like I really need them, right now anyway. I just wanted to be extra careful. It’s not worth it if it’s making you act all crazy.” 

 

“Crazy?” Robin twisted up his face indignantly. “I think I handled this fairly calmly, thank you very much.” 

 

Lizzy snorted, sarcastically nodding her head. “Yeah, you were super chill. Not at all crazed.” 

 

Robin sent her a small smile. He wasn’t naive enough to think she wasn’t disappointed but he still felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. 

 

Sighing, he reached out to pat her leg. “Listen bug… you know I just want you to be safe, right?” 

 

“I know,” she said, shrugging her shoulders. 

 

“You’re only fifteen years old, you’ve got other things to worry about and I just don’t see the need to pile anything else on to that,” he tried to explain. “Especially things you’re not ready for.” 

 

“You mean sex.” 

 

Again with the bluntless. “Yes I mean sex,” he sighed. “You don’t have to say it.” 

 

“Feels like I do,” she laughed. “It makes you blush dad.” 

 

“I’m not blushing.” 

 

“You are,” she said, smirking at him with a chuckle. 

 

He smiled at her before standing from the bed, and giving her a kiss on the top of her head. “Love you, bug.” 

 

“Love you Dad.” 

\----------------------------

 

Almost sixteen years ago Robin confronted a teenage girl who followed him home one night. She’d ended up giving him her baby. 

 

Though they’d always left the door open for her, Alice had always left a wide berth between herself and Lizzy. At least initially. She’d always stood on the other side of the door, happy to remain there with nothing but the rare letter and yearly photos. Six years ago, Lizzy had walked through the door herself, showing up at Alice’s home without so much as a warning or a heads up. 

 

It could’ve been a clusterfuck, blunt and painful with his daughter’s birth mother saying she wanted nothing to do with her. Robin would always be grateful that it went the other way. 

 

Alice had welcomed Lizzy with open arms. Answering all her questions, reminding her that she was always loved and free to see her whenever she liked as much as she wanted. It was the best thing that could’ve happened. 

 

And Robin tried to remind himself of that when he showed up to see her the next day. 

 

He didn’t know why he’d come to see her. He’d already laid the issue to rest the night before, not that Regina was too pleased to hear about it. Yet, somehow he found himself heading downtown on his lunch break and pulling up to the building where Alice she taught life painting. 

 

It didn’t take him long to find the right classroom, Lizzy had taken a class their last summer and the number hadn’t changed. He’d slipped into the back just as she was finishing up with a class, all her students, young and old, setting aside their canvases for the day and heading out of the room. 

 

She looked up in surprise when she saw him standing there but a smile quickly appeared on her face - wide, eager and unsuspecting. 

 

“Robin hi!” she said, greeting him with a warm hug. “It’s good to see you.” 

 

“It’s good to see you too,” he muttered, forcing a smile on his face. 

 

Robin liked Alice. It was hard not to, knowing what she’d given up to make sure Lizzy had a good home.  He knew she was a good person with a sweet heart. She’d come a long way since that night when she’d asked him to take her baby. She was older and happier now. Smiled a lot more than he’d remembered and no longer dressed like a runaway. She was Lizzy’s mirror in almost every way except hair color. While Lizzy’s hair was a deep chestnut brown, Alice’s was golden blonde. It made her easy to spot in a crowd. 

 

“What are you doing here?” she curiously asked. “Is everything okay with Lizzy?” 

 

“Everything with Lizzy is fine,” he said, shoving his hands in his pockets. “It’s just that I had a talk with her last night about birth control.” 

 

He didn’t know what type of reaction he expected from her. Maybe something apologetic or nervous. Or maybe just something more than the nonchalant shrug that she offered him. 

 

“And… are you putting her on the pill?” 

 

“No,” he said. “We decided against it.” 

 

Alice nodded her head, thoughtfully, before turning back to her student’s area. “Okay. Well I’m sure you know what’s best.” 

 

“We do,” he said, more forcefully than intended, following her as she picked up the stray paintbrushes her students left behind. “The problem is when I talked to her about it she mentioned that you told her that she should get on the pill. Is that true?” 

 

“It is,” she said, plainly turning to face him, her eyebrows raised questioningly as she stared at him with innocence in her eyes. “Problem?” 

 

Robin took a deep breath trying to control the flare of irritation he could feel rising inside him. “Alice… Regina and I love you.” 

 

“I know.” 

 

“We’ve always been willing to let you have a place in Lizzy’s life.” 

 

“I’m aware.” 

 

“Ever since she found you we’ve always done our best to make sure that the two of you know each other in a way that we’re all comfortable with, especially now that you and Robyn J. have April. You are an important part of my daughter’s life and I don’t want that to change.” 

 

Alice sucked in a deep breath, knowing what was coming next. “But…” 

 

“But you’re not her parent,” Robin gently explained. “Regina and I are her mother and father, and that means that there are certain topics and boundaries that belong to us.” 

 

“Like birth control and sex?” 

 

“Like birth control and sex, yes,” he repeated. “I can’t have you contradicting the things that we say and the values we’re trying to instill in her. Regina and I already spoke to Lizzy about sex and the fact that she’s not ready for it, and probably won’t be for a while.” 

 

Alice crossed her arms, letting out an indignant huff. “Oh yeah I’m sure, you gave her an excellent talk about waiting for love and marriage. My dad gave me a talk too. It was super effective, clearly.” 

 

Clenching his jaw he bit out. “This isn’t a joke Alice.” 

 

“I never said it was,” she replied. “Trust me I know how real this is Robin. If anyone knows how real it is, I do. Especially since I was only two years older than her when I had to shoplift my pregnancy test.” 

 

Her voice started to shake and she pressed her lips together, sucking in a deep breath. 

 

Robin remained silent, thrown by her sudden show of emotion. 

 

“What was I supposed to say to her Robin?” she mumbled. “‘Just don’t worry about it Lizzy. I never did and things turned out okay.’” 

 

Regret filled her eyes as she looked up at him. “I just wanted her to know that she had a safety net. Something that could save her if she fell down my path.” 

 

“Lizzy is not gonna fall down your path,” asserted Robin. “She’s not… you.” 

 

Alice smiled, not even a little offended. “You’re right, she’s not me. She’s smarter. She reached out. She came to you. Which is all I wanted her to do anyway.” 

 

“Really?” said Robin, suddenly feeling sheepish. 

 

“Yeah,” said Alice. “I only told her that if she really felt worried she should talk to you guys about getting on the pill. Not go off and get it by herself.” 

 

“Oh,” drawled Robin. Sighing, he leaned back against one of the student’s desk. “Well, now I just feel like an ass.” 

 

Alice let out a chuckle, shaking her head. “You’re not an ass Robin. You’re a concerned dad, one of the best concerned dad and I should know that. I picked you.” 

 

Tapping his fingers against his belt he shook his head. “I just feel like she’s too young for all of this.” 

 

“You’re not wrong,” replied Alice. “She’s just a kid but, and I hate that I can say this, she’s not wrong to be thinking about protecting herself. I mean… I had friends who were having sex at her age.”

 

“You’re kidding.” 

 

“Wish I was,” sighed Alice. She turned to him skeptical. “C’mon you must’ve known kids in high school who’d done it when you were her age.” 

 

Robin scoffed. “I knew guys who’d bragged about it but I just always assumed they were full of shit.” 

 

“Well some of them probably were, some of them probably weren’t,” she said, tilting her head back and forth. “I waited ‘til I was 17 and I had people screaming at me that I was prude.” 

 

“That’s ridiculous.” 

 

“That’s high school,” she laughed. Throwing her head back she groaned. “God, April’s only three I’m dreading the day I have to send her.” 

 

“You’ve got eleven years. You can stretch ‘em out,” joked Robin. “Worst comes to worst just homeschool her.” 

 

Alice offered him a sympathetic smile. “I’m sorry if I crossed a line for you Robin. I really am. I just want her to be safe.” 

 

\Robin nodded. “We both do.” 

 

\-------------------------

 

He’d been getting a chilly reception from Regina ever since the whole pill debacle had come up. By the time they got into bed that evening, she still hadn’t warmed to him not that he expected her to. When his wife took a stand she tended to dig her heels in, especially when it came to their children. 

 

Putting on his pajamas he climbed into bed next to her, staring at the profile of her face as she read one of her novels. Nudging her arm he whispered, “Can I ask you a question?” 

 

She hummed affirmatively, not looking up from her book. 

 

“How did you lose your virginity?” 

 

Regina’s head whipped toward him, her attention captured. “What?” 

 

Robin shrugged his shoulders. “I just kind of realized that we’ve never really told each other about our first times.” 

 

“We’ve never really had a reason too,” she softly replied, closing her book. 

 

Leaning back against their headboard, Robin sighed thinking back to his college days. “My first time was with Marian.” 

 

Regina nodded her head, unsurprised. “I figured.” 

 

“Yeah, I was 20 years old, we’d been together for four years by then.” 

 

“Four years?” repeated Regina, clearly incredulous. 

 

Robin turned to her and smirked. “What can I say? I was a gentleman.” 

 

Regina let out a sharp laugh as she rolled her eyes. “Fine, I’ll pretend to believe that.” 

 

“It’s true,” he said. “I never wanted to push her, or make her uncomfortable. I’d known her my whole life, was afraid I’d lose her if I screwed things up.” He paused. “But then she came to me, said she was ready and we spent the night together in my dorm room.” 

 

Regina hummed. “I feel like I’m gonna regret asking this but how was it?” 

 

Robin shrugged his shoulders. “I thought it was okay at least. Not sure the same could be said for her because three weeks later she told me she was gay.” 

 

Her eyes widened. “Three weeks later?” 

 

“Yeah,” he said, nodding his head acceptingly. “I’m pretty sure I was the final nail in that coffin.” 

 

Regina couldn’t help the giggle that fell from her lips as she reached out to comfortingly run her fingers through his hair. “Oh Robin… I’m sorry.” 

 

“Don’t be,” he said, shaking his head. “It was what it was and I don’t really have any regrets about it.” Again he nudged her shoulder. “What about you? What was your first time like?” 

 

Regina licked her lips, hesitant before speaking. “It wasn’t great,” she admitted. “I ended up doing it with my next door neighbor, he was a year older than me. Said he liked me and I felt flattered by that. He was nice boy, kind of awkward but sweet. He asked me on a date one day and I said yes. So I lied to my mother told her I was working a double shift at the mall but I went to the movies with him instead. Then we ended up doing it in the backseat of his car.” 

 

They way she spoke about it, so deliberately steady and emotionless, tugged at Robin’s heart. “How old were you?” 

 

“Sixteen,” she said, regretfully. Pressing her lips together she thought back to that day. “I remember that I was the one who brought it up, made sure he had a condom, checked the expiration date and everything. Even after all that I was still terrified that I was pregnant.” She shook her head. “I couldn’t relax for weeks. It felt like I was walking on a tight rope and someone was waiting beneath my feet for the chance to trip me.” 

 

“That’s awful,” mumbled Robin. 

 

“It was what it was,” she said shrugging her shoulders. “It wasn’t great but I think the worst part about it was that while I was freaking out I felt so… alone. Zelena was off at college. And I sure as hell wasn’t gonna tell Cora. I knew she’d crucify me. I just wish I’d had someone I could’ve reached out to. It would’ve made things a lot easier.” 

 

She looked over at him with her dark brown eyes and he sunk into their sheets letting out a deep breath as he did so. “You still want Lizzy to go on the pill.” 

 

Regina paused, carefully thinking over her answer. “I want Lizzy to feel like she can come to us about anything, especially the big stuff. I don’t want her thinking that we’ll condemn her or judge her for any of it.” 

 

“I wasn’t trying to make her feel judged,” stressed Robin. “I just didn’t want to feel like I was giving her the greenlight to start doing stuff that she’s too young for.” 

 

“It’s not a green light Robin. It’s a sign of trust,” she explained. “Not just from us to her but from her to us. She’s including us in her decisions because she trusts us not to freak out about it.” 

 

“Trusts you at least,” scoffed Robin. 

 

Regina rolled her eyes. “For the sex stuff maybe but I remember being pretty low on the list when it came time to started thinking about what colleges to go to.” 

Robin chuckled. “That’s because you always go overboard with college research.” 

 

“Because I’m the only one who knows what to look for,” she said. “But that’s not the point. The point is I want us to continue being in the  loop with her. I don’t want her to feel like she has to deal with these things without us. Especially not now. I want us in her loop.” 

 

“But  _ we _ weren’t in her loop,” said Robin. “You were. And Alice was and Lizzy was. The only person who wasn’t in the loop for this was me. I was excluded. And from what I could tell nobody had plans to change that.” 

 

Regina knit her eyebrows together, finally picking up on the fact that he was hurt that she’d kept this from him. 

 

Robin sighed. “I know you thought I wasn’t going to react well, and maybe I proved you right, but that doesn’t mean you get to keep things about our daughter from me.” 

 

Regina nodded understandingly. “You’re right and I’m sorry I left you out. That was unfair.” 

 

“Thank you,” he replied, satisfied with her apology. “And for the record, I’ve given it some thought and I think you should go ahead and give her the birth control pills.” 

 

Regina raised her eyebrows surprised. “Really?” 

 

“Yes,” he reluctantly. “I still think she’s too young for all of this, she’s just a kid. But I realize that kids can sometimes make bad choices. Hell, kids making bad choices is how we got our daughter in the first place. And as much as I trust her to know better… if she wants to have a safety net then I think we should let her.”

 

Regina tried to hold back a smile. “Are you sure?” 

 

“Yes,” he said. “So long as I get to stay in the loop.” 


	15. The Deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robin and Regina talk about adopting a fourth child.

It wasn’t often that she got the chance to visit Robin at work. Their hours often overlapped and being a beat cop it wasn’t as if he was at the station much anyway. But it had been a while since they’d had a date or a moment to themselves so they made plans to meet up. It was half-day at the school so she blew off the book reports that she was supposed to grade and met her husband at the police station. 

 

They were supposed to have a quick lunch on the station patio. Not the most romantic place in the world but she had been looking forward to it. 

 

She walked out onto the patio, lunch bags in hand, surprised to see that her husband was not alone. 

 

He sat at one of the picnics tables, with a small bundle in his arms and a half-empty bottle in his hand. 

 

Her eyebrows shot up in surprise as she approached him, setting their lunch onto the table. 

 

“Okay, last I checked our youngest was 10 years old, so I know that’s not one of ours,” she quipped, sitting next to him. 

 

He looked up at her, apologetically. 

 

“I’m sorry, love.” He gave her a quick kiss. “It looks like we’ll have a lunch guest today. Meet Charlie.” 

 

In his arms was a small newborn, a boy no more than a few days old. He was quite small, with wisps of blond hair on his head and the same pale blue eyes all babies seemed to have at the beginning. Regina smiled at him as he wiggled in her husband’s arms, smacking his little lips together.  

 

“Hi Charlie,” she whispered, reaching over to gently poke his little tummy. “Coworker’s baby?” 

 

Robin frowned. “Safe Haven. He was dropped off just an hour ago.” 

 

“Oh,” she breathed, her eyes going somber. 

 

Safe Haven babies were rare at the station but they’d had two or three over the past ten years. She knew Robin had heard of them during his time working there but he’d never been present at one until now. Whenever he’d spoken to her about them it was always in the most melancholy way. As if he was disappointed whenever it happened. 

 

“Did you see the mother?” 

 

Robin shook his head. “She didn’t come inside, just left him by the door. Not even a note with a name.” 

 

He held the bottle near the baby’s mouth, only for Charlie to swat it away with an almost annoyed cry. 

 

Groaning, Robin threw his head back. “I swear, not even Lizzy fought me this much over a meal. I’ve been trying to get him to eat for the last half-hour.” 

 

Regina giggled, watching him struggle. She still remembered Lizzy’s first months in the house and how much difficulty he’d had with gaining their daughter’s affection. 

 

“You were always useless when it came to feeding time.” She held her arms out. “Pass him over.” 

 

Without a hint of hesitation Robin passed the baby over to her eager hands. 

 

Careful to lift his head, Regina grinned down at him as he settled into her arms. Cooing at the baby, she gently started to rock from side to side, calming him as she did so. Her heart thumped with joy at the feeling of it all. She’d never gotten to do this with her boys. Both Henry and Roland had come to her relatively young but sometimes it saddened her to know that she missed their newborn phase, the days when they were so small they would’ve fit in the crook of her arm. She hadn’t been their mother yet. 

 

Gripping the bottle tight she started to feed him, smirking at her husband victoriously as the baby took the bottle’s nipple almost instantly. 

 

Robin just smiled, satisfied. “Touch of a mother,” he whispered. 

 

For a moment, the two of them remained silent, content to watch Charlie finish out his lunch before they’d even started theirs. But then Regina looked over and saw something in her husband’s eyes. His white knight look. 

 

“Robin…” she playfully drawled. “Please tell me I don’t have to worry about you and this baby.” 

 

He chuckled, unconvincingly shaking his head. “Why would you say that?” 

 

“Because you named him,” she smugly pointed. “You said the mother didn’t leave a name, and yet he seems to have one.” 

 

Robin raised an eyebrow at her, impressed. “Look at you noticing inconsistencies. You should be a detective.” 

 

“And you shouldn’t change the subject,” she softly replied. 

 

Robin sighed, reaching out to stroke Charlie’s cheek. “Everybody needs a name,” he said. “I figured Charlie was as good as any other.” 

 

Regina nodded, thoughtfully. “I like it. Reminds me of the Chocolate Factory.” 

 

“Really?” Robin softly laughed. “I was thinking more Charlie Chaplin.” 

 

Regina scoffed. “Of course you were.” 

 

He’d tried to introduce her to those old comedies when they’d first started dating. Unfortunately none of the humor stuck to her. 

 

Sighing, Robin looked at her wistfully. “You don’t have to worry Regina. The social worker’s already been called, he should be here within the hour.” 

 

“Good,” she sighed, relieved. 

 

Robin paused before hesitantly speaking again. “But… do you ever think about it?” 

 

“Think about what?” 

 

“Adopting another kid.” 

 

Regina’s eyes widened in shock as she turned to him. “What?” 

 

Robin shrugged his shoulders. “I mean… we did so well with the first three. Why not another?” 

 

Still stunned, Regina just stared at him, her lips parted in surprise. They’d never talked about having another baby. Once they’d adopted Lizzy, they’d both agreed that they were done. Their family was complete. 

 

Slowly she shook her head. “Robin we already have three amazing kids.” 

 

“Three amazing kids who are grown up,” he mumbled, dejectedly. “C’mon Henry’s going to be in college next fall, Roland will be joining him the year after that.” 

 

“What about Lizzy?” 

 

“Three years away from teen angst,” he pointed out. “Once she turns thirteen she’s not gonna speak to us until she’s twenty. You know that.” 

 

Regina couldn’t help but laugh at his exaggeration. “Robin…” 

 

“I’m serious. Would it be so bad?” 

 

He slid closer, whispering in her ear like a snake offering forbidden fruit. “Think of the cute little onesies and chubby cheeks and the awkward pitter patter of their feet when they take their first steps.” 

 

Regina smiled to herself, silently reminiscing about those first few years with her kids. All the mushed up baby speak and cute little outfits, how she used to hold their tiny hands in her own and listened as they talked with pure excitement over every new things they discovered and experienced. God, those days felt like yesterday and a century ago at the same time… because they passed, just like they were meant to. 

 

She sighed, turning to him with sympathetic eyes. “Babe… I think you’re remembering those days through rose-colored glasses. They’re blocking out the sleep deprivation and the tantrums and the nights spent on opposite sides of the bed because they wouldn’t sleep in their own.” 

 

“True,” Robin conceded. “But we handled it once before. Who’s to say we can’t again?” 

 

“It’s not about whether we can,” she said. “It’s whether we should. Robin you’re talking about our the kids we have as if they don’t need us anymore and they do.” 

 

He raised an eyebrow, skeptical. “Do they really?” 

 

“Yes,” she insisted, with a laugh. “Honey, we have two almost grown boys who still have no idea how to do their own laundry, or open a checking account, or cook anything other than scrambled eggs. Henry nearly choked on a Hot Pocket last week because he didn’t let it cool down before taking a bite.” 

 

Robin let out a snort of laughter at that. “To be fair he was in a rush that day.” 

 

“And like you said Lizzy’s gonna be a teenager before we know it and we can’t let her go through that alone,” she pointed out. “Being a teenage girl is really hard.” 

 

Robin hummed dejectedly, realizing that his wife had a point. “So… no new baby?” 

 

“No,” she said, lovingly shaking her head. “We’re still not done with the first three yet.” 

 

Pulling the bottle from Charlie’s mouth, she started to softly pat his back, burping him. “Besides it’s hard enough to find time together with the kids we have. You really want to add a newborn to the mix?” 

 

“I guess you’re right,” mumbled Robin, frowning. “It took us weeks to plan this lunch and it’s already been hijacked by a kid that’s not even ours.” 

 

Regina nodded in agreement. “I know. And honestly, I’m starting to look forward to the day when they’re ready to be on their own and we can start a new chapter with just us. We’re so close to the end, I don’t want to go back to the starting line.” She paused. “I love our kids Robin… but some days I really miss my husband.” 

 

“I know,” said Robin. “Sometimes I miss my wife.” 

 

They gave each other small, tired smiles. A new baby might’ve been a blessing but so would some time alone. 

 

“How about I make you deal?” she offered. 

 

“Lay it on me.” 

 

“Well, we’ve got eight more years until Lizzy’s out of the house,” she mused. “How about we take two years to ourselves once she goes and when they’re over _maybe_ I’ll consider us adopting another child.” 

Robin raised his eyebrows, challengingly. “Maybe?” 

 

Regina shrugged. “Definitely possibly.” 

 

Robin chuckled but nodded his head. “Deal.” 

 

With playful smiles on their lips the two of them shake hands, neither of them realizing that by the time Lizzy headed to college they would’ve both long forgotten their deal. Instead of two years spent enjoying the pleasure of each other’s company it would be three. 

 

The year after that they’d take in their first foster child. 


	16. The Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Long before they adopt Robin and Regina go through a rough patch and she asks for a divorce. For Saturday of AngstFest featuring prompts 32, 30, 3, 10 and 1.

 

 

Robin liked Aesop's. It was a bar not three blocks from his station. There was a neon sign above its door, classic rock on the jukebox and pure alcohol on the shelves, none of that watered down crap. He'd been coming here as long as he'd been on the force. Being so close to the station, it was a regular hangout for him and all the other cops. Not a week went by without him going there. He knew when it would be crowded, which bartenders were heavy-handed, and how many drinks it took before the regulars turned rowdy. He liked Aesop's.

He just didn't expect to be spending so much time there after he got married.

It hit him as he was sitting at the bar, staring down at his second glass of Jack Daniels before six and he realized that it was the fourth time he'd come to the bar in a week. And it was only Thursday. He'd gone to the bar after work every day this week and at least three days the week before. It was like he didn't want to go home.

He didn't want to go home.

The realization hits him like a sack of bricks to the gut. Every day for the past few months he'd ended his shift, changed into his street clothes, walked out the door and felt his heart deflate at the thought of going home. At the thought of going home to her.

The thought of going home to Regina… depressed him.

He'd powered through that feeling for a long time but these past few weeks he'd been escaping to Aesop's, pushing back his inevitable return home.

Trying to swallow his alarm and disappointment, he lifted the glass to his lips, draining it of alcohol in one gulp. Whiskey stung the back of his throat as it fell to his stomach, doing nothing to settle the dread inside of it. He wanted to order another - and possibly another after that - to help dull the ache in his heart but he knew it was a bad idea. Alcohol wasn't the solution to his problems.

Sighing, he stared at the clear bottom of his glass wondering just how he got here, how they got here. They loved each other. He knew that. There wasn't a person in the world he loved more than Regina Mills. She was the woman he married, the love of his life. It shouldn't be this hard to go home to her. It didn't used to be.

A bartender came and swept away his empty glass. "Another Jack?"

Robin looked up at him, silently debating his answer. After a moment he shook his head. "Nah, I should probably get home. Get back to the wife and all that."

He prays the look on his face doesn't reflect the misery rising up in his gut.

It doesn't take him long to get home. When they were engaged and looking for a place to live, they'd printed off a map of the whole city, drawing two circles to mark the ten-mile radius around his job and hers, promising each other that they'd only look for houses where the circle overlapped. It'd been three months before their wedding and they'd been happy… then.

Robin finds himself regretting that decision now. If they'd moved closer to her job - like he'd been more than willing to do - he would've had more time to himself. Instead it takes him only ten minutes to get there.

Walking through the door, he sees her on the couch, her black hair pulled back into a ponytail and her reading glasses on as she sits with an open book in her hands. He wishes he could marvel at how beautiful she looks, because she does look beautiful, she always does. It's one of the many reasons he used to count himself as one of the luckiest bastards in the world but sadly, how beautiful she looks doesn't even register with him right now.

Instead, all he can focus on is how still she is. She doesn't turn to him as he walks through the door, she doesn't even look up. If it wasn't for the slightest twitch in her jaw as he closes the door, he'd think she didn't even realize that he was home. But she does. He knows she does. She's just ignoring him. The same way she has for the past seven months.

He can't help but roll his eyes at her attitude. It grates on him. It's annoying and childish and what's worse, he's certain that she knows that. But she just won't stop.

"Hey," he mumbles, slipping off his jacket.

She doesn't respond to him, even flinches when he dares to press a kiss to the back of her head. He tries not to be hurt by that.

She used to greet him when he came home. His heart used to flutter when she'd see him and break into that ten million dollar smile she had. God, he can't remember the last time he saw that smile.

Her shoulders tense up as she finally speaks, not even looking up for her book. "You stopped by Aesop's… again?"

It's a question but it doesn't sound like one. It's too judgemental and punitive to be a question.

"Yeah, one of the guys had a birthday," he lied.

She sucks her teeth and raises her eyebrow before pointedly turning a page. "Seems like there's a lot of birthdays this time of year," she softly mumbles under her breath.

Something bristles beneath his skin at her tone and he clenches his jaw. "I was gonna call and see if you wanted to come."

"You don't have to call, Robin." She finally lowers her book to look him in the eye. "I've got better things to do than spend my weekdays at some dirty cop bar. Don't worry."

He presses his lips together, holding back all the angry things he wants to shout at her. Like the fact that Aesop's is not just "some dirty cop bar." It's the bar where they had their first date, where she said she first fell in love with his laugh.

Like the fact that despite her claims that she had better things to do, he knew that she hadn't been out with her friends in months. That she had been so prickly, immature, and confrontational that she's alienated almost every person she loved.

He doesn't say any of those things. Because if he said those things the house would quake with the force of all the emotions they would both let out.

So instead, he simply shakes his head and mumbles, "I'm gonna take a shower."

She only lifts her shoulders in response, as if to say _don't let me stop you_.

Getting undressed feels like a chore at this point. Doing anything in this house feels so damn exhausting, lately. It was like all the oxygen disappeared when they were there together, like every breath he took ran the chance of upsetting some delicate, invisible balance that could crush everything around him if disturbed. Life had become a minefield. Standing in the shower, he wondered if this was how it was gonna be from now on. Was he gonna spend every day for the rest of his life drinking in bars, dreading going home and deftly avoiding bombs when he got there?

Pulling on an old pair of pajama pants and t-shirt, he went back to the bedroom to find her sitting on the bed waiting for him.

"You left your shoes by the door again."

He closed his eyes, irritated. It was one of many pet peeves she'd picked up in the last year. Griping and nagging about how he left his shoes by the door, instead of in the closet. She never cared before but suddenly it was her biggest annoyance. She yelled about it constantly but he just got home from work, he'd barely got his pajamas on and for god's sake, could this not wait until the morning!

He sucked in a deep breath, trying to hold back his irritation. "I'm sorry."

"I told you a million times not to leave your shoes by the door. I trip over them."

"I know and I am sorry," he gritted out.

She rolled her eyes, shaking her head. "Whatever."

One word shouldn't be able to make him so angry but it's that word and the way she looks at him, looks through him actually and the way she speaks to him. Like he's some child who hasn't learned what they should already know, like he's one of the kids at her school. He glares at her as she climbs beneath the blankets

"Fine, if you want me to move my shoes, I'll move the damn shoes." He heads toward the door, stopping in his tracks when he hears her mumble, "It's too late. I already moved them."

He clenches his jaw so hard, he swears he can feel his teeth crack. If she'd already moved the shoes, then what was the point of this display? Oh yeah, to needle and nag him and remind him of all the little, insignificant ways he has failed to make her happy. God forbid, they address the big one.

Breathing out through his nose, he tries to let it go. "Fine," he grits out. "I'm going to bed."

"Right now?" Her eyebrows grow up in equal part offense and surprise. And though it pisses him off, he can't exactly blame her. For the past few weeks, they'd developed an unspoken routine where she went to bed first and he waited thirty minutes for her to pretend to fall asleep before climbing in next to her and remaining on his side of the bed, not touching or so much as looking at her side.

"Yes, right now," he snapped, pulling back the blankets. "Because this is my bed, I paid for half of it and I will sleep it whenever I so please. If you have a problem with that, then I promise you the couch is free and clear."

Her head reared back in surprise at his outburst. Once she got over her shock she set her jaw tight, angry lines forming between her eyes as she nodded. "Fine."

"Great," he spat, climbing in and turning on his side, away from her. "Goodnight."

He expects her to have some snarky retort, for her to angrily turn on her side and turn off the light, so they could both lay there stewing in their mutual misery before it carried them off to sleep. But she didn't do anything of those things. Instead he could feel her, still sitting up on her side of the bed staring at his back.

"Robin… I can't do this anymore."

He sighed, rolling his eyes before turning over, annoyed. "Can't do what?"

"This," she firmly declared, shaking her head. "I… am so tired."

"You're tired?"

"And exhausted and...I think things have just changed. They've changed between us and it has become so hard."

"Hasn't been a picnic for me either," he muttered, knowing he was being an ass and regretting it the minute he heard what she said next.

"I want a divorce."

The four words shake him to his core. He sits up on his elbows, staring into her eyes, seeing nothing but regret and resolve in them. She means these words. They are not a joke, they are not a threat. They are legitimate request, that she dared to speak aloud to him. They sink into his bones, hitting him like bullets.

"You want a divorce?"

She nods pensively. "Yes, I do."

"No."

His response is hard and automatic. He sits up in bed, suddenly overflowing with a hot, righteous anger that only intensifies at the look of disbelief on her face.

"No?!" she questions, her voice rising with indignation. "You think you can just say no!"

"I don't think I can! I am saying no! No! No! No!" He rips the blankets off himself so he can get out of bed, set on fire by her audacity.

Not to be outdone, she climbs out with him, her eyes wide as she rounds the bed and charges in front of him, anger radiating from her every pore. "Are you serious right now, Robin?! Do you actually believe that any of this is working?! That any of this is good?!"

She's yelling so hard, her face has turned red, tears are starting to form in her eyes as her emotion grows with every passing second.

"I am not happy!" she shouts, desperately. "I am so unhappy! Deeply, completely and totally unhappy! Are you really gonna stand there and tell me that you aren't!"

"Of course I'm not happy!" His throat feels hoarse as he yells at her. "I am miserable every goddamn day, Regina! I come home to a wife that doesn't want to touch me or talk to me or look at me every single day! It has been that way for months! So of course I am not happy! How could I be?!"

She stares up at him, her chest heaving with every breath she takes. "Then why?! Why can't we just end it?!"

"Because I am not done yet!" he roars.

She steps back, knitting her eyebrows together. "What?"

"I am not done," he hisses. "I'll admit that things are bad, that they are downright miserable… but I am still your husband. You are still my wife and I am not throwing that away. If we are going to end it, then we're gonna end it knowing we tried everything we could, that we fought with everything we had and nothing less. I am not gonna give you a divorce just because you're too afraid to talk or even look at me!"

"I look at you!" she said. "I look at you every day, Robin."

He shook his head. "No, you look through me. You stare at me with dead eyes, but you don't see me at all. You don't even try to."

She went silent then, running her fingers through her hair as he walked past her. He heard mumble behind his back, "I tried Robin. Don't tell me I didn't try."

"You never talk to me," he said, turning to face her. "It's like I don't even know you anymore. We haven't talked in so long."

It's true. He can't remember the last time they had an actual conversation, the last time they even spoke to one another without snapping or scolding or holding back. Some days it felt like he didn't even live with his wife anymore, just an angry ghost.

"Fine," she whispered, crossing her arms and defiantly sticking out her chin. "You want to talk, then let's talk."

Robin glared at her. "Really? Right now, you want to talk right now?"

"Oh absolutely," she sarcastically drawled, nodding her head. "Because according to you, I've been silent for the last six months. So yeah, right now, let's talk! Let's chat! Why don't you let me know what's on your mind, sweetie?!"

She's being nasty and cold, trying to provoke him. It's working, more than she realizes but she is about to find out.

"Okay, you wanna talk, we can talk!" He charges into their walk-in closet, heading straight for a small yellow box, hidden directly behind a pile of winter sweaters. Gripping it tight, he returns, holding it up so she can see. "Why don't we talk about this?"

Regina goes still at the sight of the box in his hand. Her eyes, which were cold as stone a moment before, immediately go soft. A shaky breath escapes her as her chin starts to tremble. She clenches her jaw trying to hide it.

Her voice is shaky but hard when she speaks, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. "Robin… don't."

"Why not? You said you wanted to talk, and I can guarantee you we never talked about this," he said, his tone unyielding.

He should pull back, he knows that he should. He knows what's in the box, how painful the thought of it is for her and for him. There's a reason it was buried in the back of the closet after all. But he meant what he said before, he wasn't ending this marriage without trying absolutely everything.

She flinches when he opens the box and pulls out a tiny newborn onesie. One that he'd bought nearly two years ago when they'd decided to start a family.

"You said we could talk.. I want to talk about this," he says holding it up.

She glares at him, moving closer to brokenly whisper, "Screw you Robin."

Her black hair flips over her shoulder as she turns and stalks toward the bedroom door, leaving him alone. A guttural noise comes from the back of his throat as he drops the onesie on the bed following her down the hallway. The ends of her robe flutter behind her like a cape as she rushes to get away from him.

"You know what, Regina? Why don't you just admit it?"

"Admit what?" she spits at him.

"Just admit that the day you found out we couldn't have a baby was the day you stopped fighting for us!"

She instantly stops at his words, whirling around with a wild look in her eyes. Advancing on him, she hisses, "I stopped… I stopped fighting for us?!" She repeats his words, the tone of her voice incredulous. "Robin...I bled for us! I was poked and prodded and stabbed with hormones for us! I was the one being examined, critiqued, letting doctors screw with the very chemistry of my body just so we could have a baby! So you do not get to stand there and tell me that I stopped fighting! Because I was fighting harder than you could ever imagine or even hope to reciprocate! I fought!"

She grew more and more emotional with every word she spoke. By the time she finished, her face was red, her voice was wobbly, and tears had spilled down from her chin. He feels a foot shorter with every sentence she finishes. He must've been two inches tall when she finally turns away from him, rushing into the guest bathroom and slamming the door behind her.

Standing alone in the hallway, his throat feels tight and his cheeks burn with shame. He thought it would feel good, letting out all his anger and frustration. He was wrong. He just feels tired and hot… and guilty. He remembered how hard the fertility treatments were on her. It was even rougher when she discovered that they didn't work. How he'd ever allowed himself to forget that was unacceptable.

Shuffling toward the bathroom door, he raised his hand to knock on it, pausing when he heard the muffled sound of her cries coming from the other side.

He pulled back his hand, guilt washing over him again. Turning, he softly fell back against the door, slowly sliding down to the carpet until he was sitting indian-style in front of it. He could still hear her crying through the wood. Every sound she made went through his heart like a knife. He never wanted to be this person. The guy who came home and made his wife cry. It was a fucking nightmare.

He loved that woman. It might not seem like it at the moment but he did. He'd loved her from the moment he saw her. Becoming the person who hurt her had never been part of the plan. The plan was to marry her, to have kids with her and make her happy for the rest of his life. He'd succeeded at step one but failed miserably at step two and three. God, he was failing so hard. He just wanted the chance to make it right.

She stops crying eventually, but doesn't leave the bathroom. He's sure she's waiting him out, planning to leave as soon as he's gone. Maybe it would be smarter to leave her be, let her have her space, but against his best interest he felt he still had things to say.

After an hour sitting in front of the bathroom door, he finally decides to speak. "Regina… you were right."

There's no response, at least not one that he can hear, but he keeps talking.

"When we were trying… you were the strong one," he admits. "You took everything they threw at you and more while I was just… I was just there. I was watching, I was waiting and hoping for the best, but I just felt helpless the whole time, not that I said so. And when we found out nothing worked, you kept being strong. You acted like it didn't hurt, and I let you, even when I shouldn't have. I thought I was giving you space, but I… I wasn't doing my job. I'm your husband and I was supposed to be there for you and I did a really bad job of that. I'm sorry for that."

He waits for her to respond, to say something, anything but she doesn't. Nothing but silence comes from the other side of the door. For another hour he sits there, waiting for her. Finally, he moves - standing to his feet and ambling off toward the bedroom like his bones are made of glass. Sinking onto the bed, above the blankets, he feels so tired, but knows that he's not going to sleep. He doesn't sleep without her next to him.

It takes a while for her to come back. He almost doesn't expect her to come to the bedroom, but sometime after midnight she shuffles through the door, her red-rimmed eyes widening a little when she sees him still awake on the bed. Biting her lip, she approaches him. "Thought you'd be asleep."

"I couldn't sleep," he replies.

She nods her head acceptingly before sitting on the bed her back to him. A silent moment passes before she speaks. "You left me first," she whispers.

His eyes flit to her, alarmed. "What?"

She turns to him with sad eyes. "You didn't pack your bags, you didn't move out but… Robin, you left me. In all the ways that mattered, you weren't here anymore." She sighed. "Maybe I retreated a bit after the IVF failed, but when I was ready to be here again… you weren't there. I tried to set dates and dinners and you missed every one. You were working every overtime shift they offered, taking extra hours as security for parties and parades. You were never at home. It was like you couldn't stand being around me."

Her voice broke on the last sentence, causing him to sit up and shaking his head. "No, that's not what was happening."

"Then what did happen?" She begs for an answer. "Why were you always gone? Why weren't you with me?"

"I was working," he stressed. "I was trying to save up extra money."

"For what?"

"For us to try again."

She stares at him, shock in her eyes. "What?" she whispers.

Robin shrugged his shoulders. "The first round of treatment cleaned us out," he reminded her. "I was trying to be optimistic, but all the doctors told us it was a long shot and when it didn't work...I didn't want to give up. I wanted us to try again."

She bites her bottom lip to keep it from trembling. "Robin… did you ever think that maybe I didn't want to try again?"

His heart cracks open at the pain in her voice. Her eyes start to water again as she shakes her head at him.

"The doctors told us what the chances were," she said. "And we always knew the IVF was a hail mary. And when it failed, I felt like I failed. And I didn't want to keep feeling like a failure."

"You weren't a failure," he immediately assures her. "Regina, I told you that."

"No you didn't."

"Yes I did."

"Robin… no, you didn't."

He stared into her eyes and saw no exaggeration. Thinking back to those first few months, he remembered numerous pep talks about miracle babies and success stories of other women… but not one of him comforting her about the reality of it never happening for them or that it wasn't her fault.

"I didn't tell you," he whispers, his heart in a vice. "Wow…"

"Yeah…" she mutters.

Together they sit in silence, buried under the weight of past mistakes. For the first time, Robin can finally see how they got to where they are. All the little choices and holding back turned them into strangers.

Regina sighs. "What's it gonna take for you to give me a divorce?"

"Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me."

I don't love you. It's the only answer he'll accept, the only words powerful enough to convince him to throw away the one thing in his life that matters more than anything else… and she can't give it to him.

Instead her eyes well up again, a soft, desperate sound coming from her the back of her throat. "What does that matter Robin? There's no future here, so what's the point anymore?"

"What do you mean there's no future?"

"Robin… you want something than I will never be able to give you."

"So what, I'm just supposed to go out and marry the first woman I see, start a family with her?"

He expected a witty retort of some kind but she just remained silent, her brown eyes the only thing betraying how hurt she was at the picture he'd just painted. Tilting his head, another gut-wrenching realization grips Robin by the throat.

"Oh my god…" he whispers. "That's what you think I'm gonna do, isn't it?"

She averted her gaze, dropping her eyes to the blankets. "Well… it's not like you don't have time. You could still find somebody-"

"Stop!" The word comes out sharp and forceful. "Just stop please."

It's too much. The fact that she's been carrying around this idea that he could ever be happy without her, that there was some other woman in the world who could possibly give him more than she could that was intolerable. He couldn't stand it.

"Regina do you love me still?"

She hesitated, her chest heaving beneath her shirt as she let out deep breath, but she nodded. "Yes," she whispered. "Yes, I still love you."

Relief flooded through him. It'd been so long since she'd said the words, he hadn't realized how much he'd been doubting it. Hearing her say that she still loved him, it felt like the first time he could breathe in months.

"Then give me a chance," he begged. "A chance to fix this, to fix us. I don't want to start over with someone else, I want to rebuild what I have with you."

A tear fell down her cheek but a spark of relief flashed in her eyes. Her voice was thick when she asked, "How are we gonna do that?"

It was a loaded question. One he didn't really have the answer to. All he knew was what he wanted to do right now.

"Can I start with your holding your hand?" he softly asked.

A surprised, tearful laugh escaped her at his simple request. She nodded. "Yes, you can."

His hand reaches out to hold on to hers. Their fingers are laced together, gripping tight onto one another, both of them letting out soft breaths at the first hint of affection they'd received from each other in months. It's a small gesture but it means so much.

Sitting on the bed holding hands they know that none of their problems have disappeared but for the first time it feels like one day they might.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Infertility


	17. At The Hospital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Robin gets shot on the job, Regina shares a moment with him at the hospital. For Inspired by OQ, based by off a manip by @CarolinaMR9 on twitter.

Sitting in the hospital’s stiff pleather armchair Regina tried to tune out the steady beeping of Robin’s heart monitor. 

 

It should be a comfort. That rhythmic beeping was supposed to be a constant reminder that her husband was still alive. Instead, it was just reminded her of how close she’d come to losing him. 

 

Chin in her hand, she stared at him as he slept in the hospital bed. The color had started returning to his cheeks and his chest rose and fell with every breath. If it weren’t for the hospital gown and IV by his side, you’d hardly be able tell that 48 hours before he’d been gunshot in the back of an alley. 

 

She pressed her lips together, trying to banish the image from her head. His partner, Mulan, had told her that it was a bad idea to hear the details of his shooting but she’d stubbornly insisted. If she was going to lose her husband she wanted to know exactly how it’d happened. Of course, the details did nothing to quell her anxiety, neither did the subsequent arrest. All she could think about for the past two days was whether or not Robin would survive. She wondered if she’d have to look her children in the face and tell them their father was never coming home, having to explain that he’d died in the line of duty as a hero. She’s grateful she didn’t have to force her way through that speech. 

 

She’d sent the kids home to sleep in their own beds as soon as the doctors said Robin’s surgery was a success. She’d stayed though. Forty-eight hours and she hadn’t even left to take a shower yet. The thought of leaving his side now seemed impossible. 

 

He’d woken up a few hours ago but had fallen back to sleep soon after. The doctors said he’d be in and out for a while. A part of her debated asking Henry to bring her some spare clothes and a comb when he came to visit the next day. After 48 hours of pacing and crying and praying, she doubted she looked her best right now. 

 

“Regina?” 

 

Her eyes widened in surprise at the sound of her husband’s voice.

 

Squinting against the fluorescent lights, he called for her again and she approached his side, gently running her fingers through his hair. “Hey… I’m here.” 

 

A weak smile tugged on his lips when she appeared. “Hey… you’re still here?” 

 

“I’m here as long as you’re here,” she promises, gripping his hand. “How do you feel?” 

 

He groaned in displeasure, shifting in the bed. “It feels like half my stomach got blown off.” 

 

She knew he was only being facetious but his words twisted her gut. A bullet had torn through the left side of his abdomen, only narrowly missing his spine. That would never be a laughing matter for her. 

 

“Do you want me to call the nurse? See if she can up your morphine drip?” 

 

He took a deep breath, tilting his head and staring up at her face. “You’ve been crying.” 

 

Her breath caught in her throat before she sighed and guiltily nodding her head. Of course, she’d been crying. That was all she’d been doing. 

 

She forced a smile to her face. “I’m just so glad you’re alright.” 

 

As always he sees right through her smile, to the tightness of her lips and the desperate grip of her hand on his. She can smile all she wants, it’ll never hide the fear in her eyes. Not from him. 

 

He smirks at her. “You should climb in here with me.” 

 

“Robin… I’m not gonna do that,” she says, shaking her head. 

 

“Why not? There’s plenty of room so long as you stay on my good side.” 

 

“You’re insane,” she chuckles. 

 

He shakes his head. “C’mon you can’t say no to me. I’m gut shot.” 

 

Again she bristles at the blase reference to his injury but looking into those blue eyes that she came so close to never seeing again, she caves. Sighing, she releases his hand to walk over to the other side of his hospital bed. Holding her breath, she gently climbs onto the mattress, kicking off her heels, carefully positioning herself by his side, trying to get as close as possible while trying not to rest her weight against him. The fabric of his hospital gown crinkles as she rests her head against his shoulder curled up beside him. She lets out a shuddering breath when she feels him, warm and firm, against her body. Reliefs fills her at the physical confirmation that he’s still here, still with her. She can’t stop the tear that falls from her eye. 

 

“You scared me,” she whispers. 

 

“I know,” he whispers, apologetically. “I’m sorry.” 

 

She presses her lips together, daring to hold him tighter. “Don’t ever do it again.” 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this one! If you did please leave a review!
> 
> Remember this is a prompt verse so if there's a moment you'd like to read about let me know!


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